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I'm going nuts

He cheated (several times) we canceled wedding and broke up, found out two days later I'm expecting, begged me to stay so he could be in his baby's life. 4 months later I'm still emotionally detached from relationship, should I try to make things better or just except that I'm in this so my son can have his Daddy?

 
AprylnAtticus

Asked by AprylnAtticus at 11:16 PM on Oct. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,979 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Are you 4 or 5 mos along? I'm just asking because I was CRAZY emotionial, and everything that was going wrong was ten times worse. It was awful! I couldn't imagine dealing with that with intensified hormonal charges on top of it. I don't believe that once a cheater always a cheater. I think when people say that it just gives them the go ahead to stay that way. If you love him enough to work it out you will. YOU will know if he's really truly changed. Good Luck to YOU.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:39 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • Well first and foremost, is your happiness. You need to decide what makes YOU happy. If the relationship does not, certainly you cannot stay in that situation. Child or not... Lots of women raise children without the dad in the picture. Then again, is he even going to be a good father? This is your decision, but please put YOUR happiness at the front.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:21 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • There is nothing wrong with trying to see if you can stay in a relationship with him for your son. But since he has already cheated, don't get married yet. Make sure the relationship is going to work before considering marriage.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:04 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • Once a cheater always a cheater, unfortunetly that saying is almost always true. If you are trying to make it work for your son I would take it slow and make sure he earns your trust back. Good luck I hope everything works out !!
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 1:55 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I really do think he will be a good father and I want to give him that chance just not sure if I'm capable of investing myself emotionally in this man again ya know. Like we have a good life just not the happily ever after that I had expected at this point
    AprylnAtticus

    Comment by AprylnAtticus (original poster) at 11:24 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • I say once a cheater always a cheater. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you have to be with him. If your not happy with him then move on and just worry about you and your baby.Just because yall wont be together doesn't mean he can't be in his childs life. Sooner or later you will realize you deserve better and never settle for anything but the best. Im here if you need to talk. Good luck.
    1mommie19

    Answer by 1mommie19 at 11:25 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • You don't have to be IN a relationship with him in order for him to have a relationship with the kiddo. If you are not happy being in a relationship with him, then don't be. It's never a good idea to stay just for the kid/s. Never. Don't let him guilt you.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 11:25 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • Oh goodness... so sorry to hear of your situation. I would most definitely try counseling for awhile to get through some issues and learn to communicate better with eachother. You don't have to talk about marriage yet, just get through the pain and see if you can truly forgive him for what he did. People make mistakes, but you have to be able to forgive him completely for them before your relationship can work. I think because you had already been engaged and planned to marry, your love is strong enough to overcome obstacles. You love him enough to marry him, so now you have to love him enough to really work hard to make your relationship last. You have to also ask him to love you enough to remain faithful for a lifetime. Good luck to you.
    Sharell8710

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 11:27 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • I'm just a smidge over 6 months Musicmom and last month was crazy I cried and screamed at nothing and everything but he took it like a champ. He has been much better than he was and is very excited about his son.
    I suppose I should have added that if I leave him I'm moving two states away cause that's where my family is and so he would not be real likely to see his child often if at all. That is why I'm doing the "let's make it work" thing with him. I figure as long as he is trying, I'll let him. I don't know maybe I just need to vent more, I dont really talk to my friends and family about the relationship because I hate to bother them with my problems or worry them.
    AprylnAtticus

    Comment by AprylnAtticus (original poster) at 11:51 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • You know hun, if you at least tried and exhausted all your options at least you know for sure that it wouldn't work! Good for you for trying. I hope it works out for all of you!
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:56 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

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