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4 Bumps

anyone else been here before? need to know imnot alone

dh and I have hit a hard patch almost 3 years ago...seems we bitch and argue alot since then.well last 3 months its like everyday! im starting to wonder if were done..if this is "the end"..idk im lost in it and dont know how to fix us from this mess.its sad too tho cause we have an 11 yr old and a 4 yr old.he always wanted a family andthis last week I see him sleeping more and not really wanting to go places with us,hed rather sleep.he just went dr and got on meds for thiroid and high chloresterol..he seems kinda depressed.idk he has no energy..just sucks cause we never spend time apart,weve always gone places together..guess I want my old husband back...he says he wants to just sleep and be away from people and has no energy..and he dont know why.3 yrs ago he was laid off and $ has changed.weve been arguingsince then but now he is just different,depressed..anyone else dealt with this?I feel like it might be over.so sad tho

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:36 AM on Nov. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • He needs counseling. It sounds like he might be suffering from depression and was never completely treated for it. It has been dealt with in a similar matter in my family, only I was the one going through what your husband is going through. The best thing I did for myself was finally seek help because I was tired of existing. I wanted to live and two months later, I feel great. I don't sleep as much as I used to, I don't feel the weight of the world crushing me anymore, and my husband and I are starting to become intimate again. I was like this for 5 years. He's so happy to see me coming through the depression funk, smile again, laugh, etc. I still have a long way to go. Your husband is going to have to want to get help too, but it really sounds like he is suffering from depression. Just know that it is not you, but him and depression is very debilitating.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 1:44 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I agree talk to him about going to talk to someone bout it girl
    MRSBUSYMOM

    Answer by MRSBUSYMOM at 1:48 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • just talk to him and maybe you should try counseling. and yes i think we've all been there, i definitely have, gl
    meagan678

    Answer by meagan678 at 2:26 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • i agree it sounds like he going through depression and yes my husband and i are going through the same thing right know he gets deprssed because of our money problem we both lost really good jobs and know we have some pretty bad jobs but it's helping us a little with our bills-- but when ever he gets depressed i always try to chear him up and make him laugh little by little and it works -- try to get some helpif it you think you need help--my advise you guys are going through some hard times but there is no need to end it-- just try to understand him and be there for him he needs you eaven if he not showing it he needs you to be there for him he just going to a process that needs to be fix -- get professional help if things are not getting better
    Genesis29

    Answer by Genesis29 at 3:41 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I agree with the others that he sounds like he is going thru depression and probably needs some medical help. My advice on the arguing is to sometimes just stop.... just be the one that closes your mouth and don't say another word. Take a deep breath. Smile. Touch his face. Remember why you love him. Then say the three hardest words any woman has ever had to say. You Are Right. Kiss him on the cheek and leave it at that. If he continues the conversation continue the kisses and the positivity. Just let it go. Sometimes people fight out of habit. Just like smoking. There is a reason, a pattern and a habit. When you loose your reason (not angry anymore) and change the pattern (Tell him he is right and being positive and affirming) you change the habit. Hope things look up for you!
    1lv2stks3nlz4ev

    Answer by 1lv2stks3nlz4ev at 10:42 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

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