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2 Bumps

friends of the opposite sex ??

My husband and I have never had a real problem in our 7 years of marriage. We have friends of the oposite sex but usually they are of couples or mutal friends. However we have a new family across the street and the dad is a stay at home dad, the kids are the same age as my kids ( our 5 y/o daughters are now best friends) . I have other friends on our street and as a group we walk to the park or library or other place 2-3 times a week. Last week we had a playdate in the backyard. Other friend left and so it was just me and SAHDad ( and kids) NOTHING happened! We sat in the yard chairs, watched the kids play, and talked about SAHlife. He is very nice, and I like talking to him but there is absoluely nothing going on beisdes a small neighbourly friendship.

But yet both of our spouses is mad and since we were "alone" ( I guess they forgot about the kids, that we must be having an affair.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:06 AM on Nov. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I see both sides. I think they are going to extremes by saying you two are having an affair, when this was the first time you two have been "alone" with kids. Just to keep the peace, don't be alone with him anymore with kids or without kids.
    Shines3

    Answer by Shines3 at 2:16 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • Hmmmmm. This is a touchy subject. I think alot has to do with the relationship that you have with your spouses. Do they, in general, trust you? I trust my husband totally. But in saying that, I do believe that when you're married there are just situations that you don't put yourself in, such as being alone, with kids around or not, with someone of the opposite sex. And, in regads to, the whole you must be haivng an affair thing, that to me totally shows your spouses insecurities and lack of trust and that is a totally seperate issue that has NOTHING to do with the stay at home dad.
    momneedstimeout

    Answer by momneedstimeout at 2:29 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • i would suggest make sure there is always a 3 person with kids there so nothing can be said. People love to talk so keep your self out of that situation again. be honest with that person. And tell them it doesnt look right and you know how kids talk to each other. Hey mom went to the park with so and so's dad and us . without meaning to hurt you. Just be careful and inform your spouse when that person will be there so your not hiding it from your spouse
    teresa1962

    Answer by teresa1962 at 2:39 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • well eaven if you guys were not doing nothing to there eyes it didnt seem that way -- have you heard a saying that says---" dont do good things that seems bad things" when you alone with the opposite sex it gives your spouse space to thinks bad things eaven if you not doing nothing bad and eaven naighbors talk you know -- its better if you stay out of those situations and avoid the arguements and bad comments
    Genesis29

    Answer by Genesis29 at 3:10 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • Avoiding it isn't going to do anything. Your partner is over-reacting and extremely jealous.
    You need to find a way to rebuild the trust, you shouldn't have to loose a friendship and socialising activities with your children because of your husband's insecurities.

    Are you never going to see a man again> what if you want to go out for the day, will you be having an affair then?

    Your husband needs to grow up.... he's over-reacting and there is nothing wrong with having another parent around to socialise with your children...
    You shouldn't have to shut your self up because of your husban'd unrealistic behaviour. There's no way i'd do that tou my spouse... it's called trust.
    Piskie

    Answer by Piskie at 6:22 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • wow, that sucks that both your spouses are so freaken paranoid. I would have thought nothing of it. I have been that wife that hangs out with the SAHD, except neither of our spouses cared. In fact, they were both glad that we had someone to go to the park with & liked the fact that DD had a playmate. WTF is wrong with people? You need to smack him upside the head & tell him he's a total idiot for thinking that.

    You need to tell your DH that he is super paranoid, that y'alls daughters are BEST freinds & that he is totally over reacting. And, just to soothe his ego a bit, you can tell you husband that the man accross the street is un-attractive. Golly, if you guys WERE having an affair, it's not like you's be telling your DH when he came over...LOL! I would be SO PISSED at his accusations...i swear....Why doesn't he trust you?
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:42 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • Some people have their minds in the gutter all the time, nothing wrong with what you did.
    older

    Answer by older at 10:10 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I hear ya.
    I've had this problem myself.

    My husband pretty much came to terms with it, I think that his wife still thinks there is something going on.
    I just ignore her silly emails and discuss things with the husband.
    don't really know what else to do.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:42 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I personally think that that whole thing is ridiculous and I would be upset for my SO to even say something like that. You can have friends of the opposite sex and I will never understand how just because your married that has to change.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 3:44 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

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