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How can i explain to my 10yrs old son that i left his dad cuz he's an alcoholic and a drug addict?

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michelinek

Asked by michelinek at 3:27 AM on Nov. 1, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I believe in not to lie to my children, I would explain to your 10 yr old that sometimes mommas and daddys don't get along, tell him that daddy has some things that he does that momma doesn't like and that you BOTH love him very much but you all are not gonna live together cause you don't want to always have to be mad at his daddy. Just make it short and simply he is 10 explain so he will understand without going way into it. DON'T tell him that daddy is sick just tell him momma and daddy aren't getting along and this is way.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:50 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • raemommy took the words out of my mouth. That's exactly what I would have said.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:37 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • You can tell him that as much as you love your dh (if you want to say that part, or, if not, then say As much as you know that your ds loves him and wishes that you all were together), right now, Daddy is having some problems making good choices, and that his bad choices are making things unsafe for you and ds, and that your number one priority is to make sure that you all are in a safe and healthy environment. Tell him that right now, his Daddy is having some problems with drugs and with alcohol, and that hopefully, one day, he will be able to beat those addictions, but in the meantime, it's not good for you or your ds to be around that. (at 10, this could be a good time to throw in a - this is why drugs are bad, because they can make people forget about their loved ones, and it can ruin lives and families...)

    gl - and (((hugs))) to you and your ds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 6:42 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • you could say the whole your dd has some issues right now and its best for us to stay away, Kids seem to be able to make there own reasons , so just let him know you both still love him
    kileighsmommie

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 7:44 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • Good advice here and answer any questions as honestly as you can. Let him know he can come to you with any questions, worries, concerns. Keep the dialogue open and ongoing. Best wishes to you.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:11 AM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I honesly believe in being completely honest with kids. I really think that when they understand the mistakes that people make and what the consequences are that they usually steer clear. I would just be careful not to tell him in a way that really puts his dad down unnecessarily. He can know what his dad did without having to hate him...
    (speaking from experience)
    mlmsm928

    Answer by mlmsm928 at 1:25 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • Also, I would be sure to explain that addiction is a disease and it can take control over someones life. (not to take any blame away from your exes choice, but I think the other side of it should be explained as well.) Good luck!
    mlmsm928

    Answer by mlmsm928 at 1:26 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

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