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3 1/2 year old STILL potty training?

My daughter will be 4 in January and a few months ago we started potty training. I thought she'd get the hang of it easier if she was a little older and understood it better, which was partially right. But I have her in underwear and she was doing really well, even running to the potty by herself without telling me and being done by the time I got there, but she goes to her grandmother's house every day or every other day, and over the last couple of weeks she sometimes won't tell me that she has to go until she already went a little in her panties. Is it because the MIL uses a different method than I do or what? MIL takes her every hour on the dot but my girl already knows it's what she needs to do. I want her to just go when she needs to go like she did before. I guess the question is, should I just ask MIL to use the same method as me while she has her or is there another reas0n my daughter's just not getting this?

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Asked by banona123 at 10:51 AM on Oct. 31, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • It's not uncommon. My son would be #1 but not #2 until the day he turned 4.

    Answer by PamJM at 10:55 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Does MIL sit with her in the bathroom or stand around waititng Your DD probably wants privacy. If she does it on her own and holds when she is there, she may not want to go on command or just wants some privacy

    Answer by brancoj at 1:53 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • She may be doing it for attention. She needs to know that doing it in her panties is unacceptable. Try telling her that if she goes in her panties then she will be punished, like standing in the corner or something. She's old enough she knows better. My daughter was 3 when we got her potty trained. How we did it was took away the pull-ups and told her if she had to poop she'd have to do it in the potty. She held it for 2 days then finally went. And that was it. You'll just have to be firm with her and let her know that you're not going to allow her to do that anymore because it's unacceptable. Good Luck!

    Answer by Gretchen0122 at 1:56 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • If you use one potty training method and your MIL uses a different one then that is going to be confusing to your daughter. It sounds to me that your daughter was learning how to go potty on her own with you but being told when to go potty by your MIL. I don't think that "punishment" is the way to go when you are trying to teach your 3 1/2 year old a skill that they don't entirely get. She just started learning to use the potty so it is going to take some time. If she has a BM in her panties have her clean them. Show her where the poop goes and how to wash the panties out in the sink. But please don't punish your DD for being confused. If she is being openly defiant then yes, punishment is needed but not for confusion. Try to get all caregivers to be consistent in potty training or your poor DD will get very confused as to what is expected of her.

    Answer by Colleen801 at 10:24 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Thanks for your answers everyone...I like getting differing points of view to weigh up. =)

    Answer by banona123 at 8:44 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

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