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5 Bumps

Need advice from those of you who have left so.

So after 2 yrs of counceling & 5 months of seeing a therapist , i have made the decision to leave my so, we have 3 kids,both of us have a child from a prev relationship& a child together. our kids from prev relationships only have us, the other parents are not around, thats one of the reasons why i think my so will try to convince me to stay, i know he needs me but im done& ready to leave, i have left in the past & stayed w/my mother but ended up going back b/cuz i dint have a job or car i was a sahm, but now leave i have no reason like b4 to come back. I have a job& my car , i want to leave but not to where he comes home& me& the boys & our stuff is gone. I want to talk to him w/out a fight, normally it always ended up like that because he wouldnt want me to leave , he'd cry on the floor& literaly try to stop me from packing, im ready to leave & just dnt know how to talk to him where he can take it like a man,

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Nov. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • My honest opinion on this one, get everything you need packed ready to go while SO is out. When he comes home explain the situation, i.e. you have had enough and am leaving him (for whatever reasons). Also make sure you have a way of getting the stuff out of the house at a moments notice or get it in your car in advance. That way he won't have chance to stop you from packing as it will already be done. Good luck.
    Creating78

    Answer by Creating78 at 12:09 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • i had that same problem only my family is on his side about everything...you just have to be straight with him and try to be already packed up with most of your stuff..tell him why you are done...dont baby him cuz then you will end up staying..just say i am leaving and go or leave while he is at work...good luck and message me if you need to talk or whatever
    jesslovesyou08

    Answer by jesslovesyou08 at 12:10 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • just dnt know how to talk to him where he can take it like a man....this is not your job, responsiblity or even in your control

    know what you can control and what you can not control..you can not control his behavoir or reaction, you can control your actions and the life you want your children to have. you have decided to leave ( i assume you know this is the right decision and you have put much thought into and have tried all other options to help relationship)

    just do it, when you are having a hard time thinking about the enormous task of doing so, take your mind to a place months from now, see how nice your life will be, nothing to specific, just a nice quiet normal life with no drama

    I have done this recently, it is not easy - especially remembering... I am not in control of his actions

    i am not in control of his actions - needs repeating for me and for you
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 12:21 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • Have your stuff packed and in the car before you talk to him, that way, even if he does act out, you can walk out as if you're going to get some air and already have your stuff with you.
    Dark-N-Prego

    Answer by Dark-N-Prego at 1:35 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

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