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3 Bumps

anyone know how i feel?

Everyday I do something to upset my DH to the point that he yells and tells me he can't take it and wants to leave me. I am literally on the edge of having a break down from trying to keep the man happy. I doubt he'd really leave but I just can't do ANYTHING right. And forget about my feelings because it has been months since he has shown true concern for anything I feel. Again he is mad today because I asked him why he DVRed "zack and miri make a porno" last night. He literally screamed at me and told me he wasn't coming home and he couldn't stand me because I asked him this. (We were on the phone) I can feel my stomach eating away at me. I wish he would stop what he is saying. I have no idea how to make him stop. I asked him to but its like he can't see me at all and feel justified to hate me so much. I wonder how much longer I can take it before I leave.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Nov. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • i would leave if i were you. you dont deserve to live that way momma!
    hotmama83227

    Answer by hotmama83227 at 3:46 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • That is not healthy for you. If this has been going on for a while I believe i would consider moving on. Good luck.
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 3:46 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • This doesn't sound good :-(
    Have you thought of suggesting counseling to him? For the both of you?
    mz_erica03

    Answer by mz_erica03 at 3:57 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • It's not you, it's him. Nothing that you ever do will be good enough for someone like him. It's really hard to be emotionally abused day after day, I'd think about moving on and finding someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 3:58 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • Every woman deserve to be treated with respect but if he is your husband then take some time away from him until he decides that he is ready to be a better man. No divorcce is neccessary right now..just some time apart. Make him love you all over again and if he doesnt come with a better attitude then make ur decision off of that. But YOU need space from him. I always recommend that women stop nagging their men about bull crap....less talking and more actions. Try this for a week and he will assume that you are sleeping around....
    mom42107

    Answer by mom42107 at 4:05 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I know how you feel in terms of wanting to make your man happy each day, in everything that you do. It can definitely be hard to please him all the time- impossible really. You certainly don't deserve to be yelled at, especially over something as little as a DVR'd movie, but I have learned that sometimes I just have to let my husband do what he wants without saying anything. I can totally relate to your story, because once I found like 20 boxing matches DVR'd and wondered what my DH was thinking- but I had to just walk away and save them so he could watch them on a rainy day. Men and women differ quite a bit in the way we think and act- and react... so it's best that you and him communicate as best as you can. Ask him to remain calm and collected when your having these discussions, give it your best. If you can't take it, then you need to do what's best for you. Both of you should be happy- most of the time.
    Sharell8710

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 4:15 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • Baby I am sorry to say this but to me it sounds like he is trying to hurt you. There is no reason what so ever that this is continuing so regularly. Maybe you need some time away. I'm not talking about leaving him or divorce just some time for yourself without being cut down all the time. You need time to allow you both to figure out what is wrong so you can move forward if that is what is right. Good luck and remember to always keep your up. You don't deserve to be mistreated by anyone - husband or not.
    Cheveyo1

    Answer by Cheveyo1 at 4:52 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I think that he's not happy for some reason that needs to be addressed. He should seek some counseling. You can choose to stay and be supportive, but he needs to know that he cannot treat you like this. Tell him, if he's that unhappy to let you go. I know it will hurt, but if he's not going to be happy with you, he should at least let you be able to find someone who can be. Good luck. Sorry you're going through this.
    berrysweetmamma

    Answer by berrysweetmamma at 5:27 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I feel the exact same way. I have been doing everything I can just to get told that I am doing everything wrong. I just want everything back to the happy times...and just when I think it is getting a little better it goes back to the bad. There are a few reasons that I haven't left and one is the kids. The other is when I think I have hit my breaking point things do seem to get better and I wonder if it is going to work out for the better. I guess I should know better to see the pattern. I think that counseling would be a great thing for you if you could get him to go. If not then the next best thing is to actually leave maybe then he will see how his actions can effect things. (sorry I know this is the pot calling the kettle black but it is nice to actually know I am not the only one out there feeling the same way)
    mwallace1023

    Answer by mwallace1023 at 6:41 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • Tell him don't let the doorknob hit him in the bum on the way out.Call his bluff.He sounds immature and must feel not good enough.To tell you that you are not good enough all the time.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 7:04 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

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