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3 Bumps

Why do people say and think that is wrong to have friends of the opposite sex after you get married??


Asked by LiLJeni at 4:42 PM on Nov. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 30 (44,491 Credits)
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Answers (18)
  • I'm guessing it's because they don't believe that men and women can be 'just' friends with no sexual tension or eventually acting on it. I personally don't feel that way at all. My hubby has always been the type of guy who's had a lot of female friends and I've always been the type of girl who hung out with the guys. I'll even admit to being attracted to some of my (and our) male friends as I'm sure he's been attracted to some of his (and our) female friends. But neither of us would ever act on that attraction, weak moment or not. In fact I think the 'weak moment' excuse is just that - an excuse, a cop out. If someone wants to cheat they will find a way, and if they don't want to they won't - no matter the temptation they may face.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 8:09 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I think it's because of temptation and weakness. Why put someone in a position to possibly mess up? Isn't it silly to think that your husband or wife could NEVER have a weak moment. Do you really want temptation (the friend of the opposite sex) right there available for him during his time of weakness? Who's to say that they wont both have a weak moment at the same exact time? On the other hand, If a person wants to cheat, they'll do it no matter how hard you watch them. That's why I'm more in the

    Answer by Alizzie_Mom at 4:54 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I have no idea but it's annoying. Why should i give up my friends just because I'm married. I have mostly male friends. My husband married me knowing this. If he doesn't want me to have male friends then there is no trust and no trust means no relationship.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:45 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • Because some people too think too immaturely to have friends of the opposite sex. and because they think that way...they think EVERYBODY should be that way. Some of my best friends are men & i never had to give any of them up after marriage. Glad i married a mature man! He has some female friends too & it's all good. No issues here!

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:50 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • My husband and myself do not feel that way.

    However. From what I've been told by many others who do feel that way. The main reason they feel that way is because they do not believe that men & women can just be friends. That when men & women are friends, the potential for that relationship to grow/change into more is really high. Therefore, if their spouse is friends with a member of the opposite sex outside of the marriage, there is a high likelyhood that either the spouse or the friend will develop deeper feelings and a deeper relationship will form. They see the "no friends of the opposite sex" thing and a prevenative action more than anything else. The thought behind it is this: If there is no temptation at hand, then being "tempted by another" isn't going to happen.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:52 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • DH and I have friends of the oppostie sex. They are however, spouses of our other friends,lol. And we never hang out with the opposite sex alone. It is just not something we find appropriate.No biggie really. If your ok with it then thats cool.

    Answer by RheaF at 5:40 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I have opposite sex friends, but my husband is included in the friendship. Same with him. No way do I find it appropriate for my husband to go hang out alone with his female friend totally alone though.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 4:44 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I have often wondered this myself. Any of my male friends that I had before marrying my husband are here to stay 100%..but I also dont go out looking for new guy friends either.. thats kind of weird.

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 4:45 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • Because they mistakenly think that the only people you could end up cheating with are the opposite sex... and figure that if you just don't associate with them, you'll magically never be tempted.

    There is sexual tension because people are sexual. What people do with that is entirely up to them, and 'being alone' or 'hanging out' doesn't create cheating anymore than having the opposite sex in the same workplace does --although for years people expected that it would. When there is no opposite sex in the workplace, there is often still cheating because if you want to, you will find a way. If you don't want to, there is no amount of semi-naked, alluring opposite sex folks who can make it happen.

    Answer by LindaClement at 4:50 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • geminlove that is so not true. I have plenty of male friends and not once have I ever felt a sexual desire towards them

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:51 PM on Nov. 1, 2010