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Grandma Wars!!!

Lately it seems as if my mom and my mother in law are trying to outdo each other with what they get for my son. I feel bad for my mother because she lives in a different state than us and doesnt get to see my son, so when she is able to send him things she goes all out but in her defense my mother in law see's him everyday. But my mother in law buys him everything and anything and as much as I appreciate it I feel like it's a battle between them both. Like my mother in law wants to be the "Best Grandma" and I think she secretly tries to rub it in my moms face that she's always around him. I know it sometimes upsets my mom when she asks what he needs and i tell her his GiGi (MIL) got it for him already. Am I taking it too personally? Any Thoughts?

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krisholl2285

Asked by krisholl2285 at 9:07 PM on Nov. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (160 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • I'm in the same place you are. I just tell them not to get the kids anything until they run it by me. I'm tired of both of them giving so much crap it isn't even funny. If I kept everything they gave my kids I would look like a hoarder.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 9:10 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I think to help spare your mom's feelings that maybe you should not mention that the other grandma bought this or that...if she asks about a certain thing just say that he already has it. You could probably save some of the competition if you do it the other way around too, dont tell your mother in law when you mom sends a package and she wont want to run right out to out do her. My mom and mother in law are both far from us so it isnt about competition with them they just both send tons of crap all of the time...sometimes I think they conspire together...lol.
    foxracing43701

    Answer by foxracing43701 at 9:15 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I agree with foxracing43701, and may I add that although I understand this bother's you, of all of the problems you could have with grandparents, this is a good one. Your baby is lucky to have two grandmother's who adore him. My boys were the only grandchildren on both sides. My MIL even though she lived nearby never bothered with them. My own mother sent them exactly $25 for each birthday, and exactly $35 for each Christmas, but hasn't been a real hands on grandma. They're grown now, so many people think they must have been spoiled rotten being the only grandchildren on both sides, but I feel like they were barely acknowledged.

    Again, I think I just would avoid telling each of them what the other has bought, and ask your mom to send DVD's or cassette's of her reading a story, along with the books for your son to read. What a special gift, it won't cost her anything, plus your son will get to know her a little through this!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:31 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

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