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dealing with drugs

I have a dear friend who walked in on her kids doing drugs, ages14 an16. She is divorced and her husband lives near one of the best rehab places in Colorado. She is sending them to live with him. She is seeing someone, but not married to him. The husband said they can't come back until after they graduuate. They had alot af friends that did it with them. My question is would you stay with your boyfriend, no strings, and his family. Or would you move closer to yours. She is gonna be like 1000 miles away. That is a no brainer for me.

 
arenad

Asked by arenad at 9:55 PM on Nov. 1, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 23 (15,984 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I would move, but maybe that's part of the reason they're doing drugs....their mother's choices. I hope things work out for both her and her kids.
    dmbutler

    Answer by dmbutler at 9:58 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I would ask the rehab specialist what is best for my children. Sometimes they need that physical separation.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:00 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I would move. then i would closer to my kids and then i could help support them. I do hope everything works out.
    Justins_mommy05

    Answer by Justins_mommy05 at 10:01 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I would send my son to rehab and to his father in colorado so he gets the help he needs before it ruins his life and he needs to be away from the drug using friends.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:01 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • Rehab will only stop them temporarily. It is a battle that can take years or unfortunately decades to truely conquer. It is not the intentions of the parents, but the decisions of the children that will decide the path that their lives will take. I do think it is important to be with your children especially at these critical years. They don't need to feel abandoned on top of character defects which have already caused unwise decisions. All we can do is to keep loving them, give consequences and show them the way. This isn't an easy instant fix. Sending them away only takes the burden off of her, it doesn't solve anything.
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 10:10 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • LeJane- That is what I thought. I love her dearly, but I just feel like she is going about this all wrong. Sending them to rehab, yes. Pulling them away from her no. They haven't lived with their dad in about 6 years. Not close enough to visit often. I know it's not my place to tell her, but she needs to be going with them. I know I would, wouldn't even think twice about it.
    arenad

    Comment by arenad (original poster) at 10:16 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • If it's an inpatient facility he won't be allowed to see her for a while anyway. It's part of the process. Your therapist has to identify your triggers before they allow any visitors, because any of those visitors may be a trigger for that person.

    Jenny-talia

    Answer by Jenny-talia at 10:23 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • The dad won't let them move back until after they graduate. That is 2 years for one and 4 years for the other. The rehab is a factor but not the only one. She will be away from her boys for 2-4 years. Longer if they decide to stay there.
    arenad

    Comment by arenad (original poster) at 10:25 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • i would dump the boyfriend and be close to my kids
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 2:01 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Sounds like the dad is trying to control his ex-wife throught the kids. Could be one of the reasons the kids are doing drugs. The mom shouldn't be blackmailed by her ex.
    CometGirl

    Answer by CometGirl at 7:41 PM on Nov. 2, 2010