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Have you ever done anything to your child that you later regretted? Even though you felt bad, did it happen again??

If you plan on bashing or being rude because of my parenting ---don't reply. Keep it to yourself. I don't want or need to hear your opinion. I'm asking for help.
I've tried time outs and taking toys away but my kids still don't respond. So when everything else doesn't work I'm left to spanking. My son can be in timeout 10+ times and still won't listen. I take away his toys or favorite blanket and nothing. So after hours of taking to myself because they don't listen I have spanked their butts. Not hard to physically bruise. Just more like a bee sting just quick and to the point. But then I'm sorry that it had to come down to that. The next day we start over w/ timeouts and taking things away. Day in & out the same thing the time outs aren't working. And I've been trying for months and each time it comes down to spanking. What am I missing?? I don't want to spank but he's not responding to anyother discipline. They're 3 & 4.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Nov. 1, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • Sounds to me like you did the right thing, especially if that works. I dont know of a parent out there who actually "likes" spanking. I hate it, but when my son needed it, he got it. You didnt beat the child senseless, you got his attention. But the biggest thing is patience and repitition. Over and over again you've got to keep going with what works, and let him know that if he does a, b will happen. He'll get it. Also, keep talking. Hang in there hon. Parenting isn't always easy but in the end its always worth it.
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 10:29 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

  • I don't personally agree with spanking, but cannot deny that I understand where you're coming from. It is hard to just get into that diciplin routine where they kids obey everytime they are punished. Even though sometimes kids will be kids and disobey regardless. However, there are other methods other then time outs and spanking. You could assign them chores to do when they decide not to listen. Things like changing the laundry (If you have a front load washer/dryer), sweeping, wiping down surfaces, dusting, vacuuming, cleaning up their rooms, their toys, making their beds, etc. It's all about how you approach the subject and how you let it effect you. The louder you get, the more aggrivated you sound, the more they're going to rebel. So stay calm, but stay firm. Even if you're about to pull your hair out, it's important to stay calm. This will help you control the situation.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:01 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • (Continue) Kids are master manipulators and know how to push buttons. Once they find out your weakness they will crush it. That means that you have to be on gaurd and you have to find out their game before they figure out your weakness. Once you have control of the situation you can then begin to regain sanity and peace in the household. It won't happen over night, especially if you've only recently started implementing the rules of the house. Another tip for time out .. They should only get time out for one minute of every year they are. So four minutes for your oldest. If you have to keep putting him back in time out (in silence after the first initial reason why) then that's what you have to do. Then if he gets in trouble again put him in time out again. He will get it eventually, but you have to stay calm and be firm, Follow through and don't let them manipulate you.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:04 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I do agree with all the answers...I completly understand my 3 yr is so hyper and she will not sit in a timeout and she always tells me no and wines all the time if she doesnt get her way. So i do spank but like you said not beat ....Kids have to know who makes the rules and right now i am trying something new which seems to be working....I have our HOUSE RULES on a big poster board with 4 rules(not to many so then its not to hard to remember)...when one rule is brooken she will get a warning and be told that next time will be timeout....when timeout comes its not a normal one she has to sit in the little front door area we have so she cant touch anything but she can still see me....sometimes it works sometimes not just hang in there and use your judgement on when to spank and when to do timeout...
    Mrs.Norris

    Answer by Mrs.Norris at 2:55 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Your kids should only be in time out a minute per year old. You will get nowhere making them stay longer. Try to remember they are not out to get you, just being who they are, kids. Be consistent, keep putting them in time out until you get the behavior you want. You are losing patients to quickly. Keep putting him back for the same offence over and over for the proper time, eventually he will get you mean business and do what you ask. It takes a lot of work and patients for time out to be effective. Good luck.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:14 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

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