Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

In your first year of marriage did you ........

ever imagine that men would be so sacrificing to the marriage and so into their work? (For working d/h's not in the mil. )
Did this bother you?
Did you suggest ideas? And did he ignore them? No matter what they were?
Even when you tried to do them around his work, and family? Did his family try to take over the time you spent with each other off of work?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Nov. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • My husband has always worked hard. It's FOR us, not instead of us. He works almost every day of the week, but he fits his schedule around our lives. He shows up to all of our martial arts classes, not just for us but for the kids (five days a week total) and tries to make it to swim class when he can. He always makes it to school functions like parent teacher meetings or award assemblies. At times that means he's getting up at 4 am to make it happen. I know it's got to be hard on him to try to please everybody.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 12:27 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I guess I meant in the first year, as in prior to children. Just you... (good answer juliejacobkyle) Only my Q was aimed as a Q as to what the D/H is like when prior to children, and within the relationship, aside from in laws and their meddling.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:33 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • We were married 5 years before we had our first child. We both worked hard to jump start our lives. At one point he was working two full time jobs and I was working a full time job to save for the down payment on our first house. When we got the house, we ended up spending loads of time together, ripping into walls and remodeling, LOL. I think most of those five years were spent preparing for a time when we wouldn't have to focus so much on work.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 12:37 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Oh, and I should add that getting away from the meddling in laws was a wonderful thing. Years later, we moved away from both of our families. It was actually a much bigger relief than I expected.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 12:39 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I walked the aisle pregnant so I can't really answer the question about before kids. I can say that even though my in-laws wanted us around a lot, it didn't matter cause my husband was all over me for at 4 years afterwards. We were connected at the hip and as a matter of fact we met at work so we were around each other 24 hours a day. I remember those mornings before we lived together and we would drive to his apartment so he could go and get ready for work and I would have to be there before him. One day I was so tired that I forgot that I still had his t-shirt on and I'm pretty sure a few people noticed too and that was before we let anyone know that we were actually dating. Ahh, those were the days! Thank you for allowing to reminiscent!

    Answer by ChicaThis at 12:52 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Hubby was never that into his job. He worked hard at it, but as soon as it was quitting time he was home and it was our time. It might have helped that he where he worked (a cotton warehouse) most of the guys were Christian family men that had been married a while and hubby looked to his boss as a mentor in that respect. And his boss made sure his work didn't come into his family life, lol.

    Answer by montanagal2005 at 1:16 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • While I'm thinking about this question, would he ever consider something you join together? Monday and Wednesday nights is when my husband and I take our martial arts class together. We drive together and chat about our day, focus on the class for an hour and learn something together, and the ride home is always fun. Tonight it was like "Did you see when I tried to do that number 2 jump front kick and lost my balance? I totally fell over." We laugh a lot on the way home. It's fun to share something together, and it's more than just a date every now and again. Doing something, whatever it is, as a couple twice a week is great.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 1:30 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • My husband through himself into work about 5 months after we were married when I first became pregnant and lost that baby. I think that we were still learning each other , he would take overtime others work days just to not deal. This went on for a while I would see him on Sundays and nights . When he finally broke and told me how he felt I realized that he was really bothered by me losing our child. Being that we had really bad insurance and this could have been avoided . He run to work and work until he had the money to make things better for us. Sometimes guys will and can get caught in their own heads and not thinking about the fact you are now united as 1.

    Answer by karing4elmas at 1:55 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I was with my Dh for 5 years before we married so I knew what I was getting into. LOL

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 7:07 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.