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Should parents, espeically single ones, give up their "Immature" lifestyles...ie partying, etc?

Things like going out and partying and getting wasted, having multiple partners sleep over or you over there (even if you have the same partner for months at a time, but no one that you are committed enough to spend you life with), pot or other drugs (even just cigarettes!), etc. etc. Should you party and drink with you kid around? (I've seen all of this... and really, it makes me kinda mad that a parent would sacrifice their kids well-being, mental health, setting of good examples, and even physical health (smoking around children, etc).

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missbreezy214

Asked by missbreezy214 at 1:31 AM on Nov. 2, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 8 (212 Credits)
Answers (31)
  • My husband and I payed someone to watch our kids, while we "partied" for a weekend, went fishing, four wheeling and the bar and bonfire late at night. I don't feel bad about it in the least. First time in 5 years. But honeslty I think you are coming off a little judgemental. Just because I had children doesn't mean I don't deserve to do adult things every now and then. And if I was single and screwe the entire town it still wouldn't be your business. I don't smoke, but smoking in front of a child doesn't put them in danger or mess with their heads.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:42 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I wouldn't want to do this in front of my child, nor do I condone it, but if someone wants to drink or do whatever they would like outside of the house or when their child is not around I have no problem with it. I will have a beer while my daughter is around but I would never get wasted or smoke around her. I've had "friends" do this with their children and I think it's messed up. My old roommate used to smoke pot with her son in her lap, or lean over to do coke with him right there. My daughter copies everything I do and her uncle smokes cigarettes and she pretend smokes everything now..I had to give him a little talking to... they are so impressionable and I would hate to set that example for them
    dbodani

    Answer by dbodani at 1:53 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • My old roommate used to smoke pot with her son in her lap, or lean over to do coke with him right there.

    Wow, that's a little extreme. That's a CPS call.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:55 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Simply put yes. Is there anything wrong with letting loose every so often with your kids at a babysitter it is not something that should be done every night or every weekend.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 2:00 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I don't know if it would be considered partying but I do go out with my friends and drink occasionally. I am a single mom, but my son spends every other week with his dad, so when he is gone and I have 1) money, 2) time and 3) friends that don't have their kids either I go out. No, I won't give that up. I don't drink in front of my son though.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 2:22 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I belive yes but you can still go out sometimes but you have to be responsible bc the kids aint got no one else
    smomof5

    Answer by smomof5 at 2:28 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I think if done responsibly there is nothing wrong with it. Responsibly means having a babsitter for the kids if you're drinking.
    In our family the adult activity of choice is D&D which we often do in our own home or my husband goes out with the guys while I stay in with kids. I don't play so I can be on call if they need me and often we get our older child a movie to watch in mommy and daddy's room with a special treat so that she's not so underfoot.
    Also I think it is good for the sanity of the parent to spend some time around adults and let loose every once in a while without worrying about the kids.
    JadeRDragosani

    Answer by JadeRDragosani at 2:37 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • It is OK to let loose outside of your children's eyes....even if that letting loose is drinking or smoking cigarettes....granted if you have found trustworthy babysitters and it's you going out and being responsible about it. The rest is judgement here.
    Jess_momofgirls

    Answer by Jess_momofgirls at 2:39 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • O wow this is a touchy subject i just lost my best friend cause i said something to her about her life style ......short info on it ..she 21 has a 4yr old lives with her mom has a crazy wacked out s/o thats shes been with for a few weeks she is rude to her mom leaves her kids with her mom tells her mom to shut it an watch her an goes an blows all her money at the club.....im only a lil older than her but imm a single mom living on my own an going to school full time ...i cant stand moms who dont own up to there responsibility as a parent single or not
    mayg88

    Answer by mayg88 at 2:59 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • The concern to me isn't that the child see a person having a good time. The concern is that the parent doesn't appear to be invested in the future, for either themselves or for their kids. Parenting comes with a lot of responsibility and a person spending time and money on partying, getting wasted, and multiple sex partners isn't setting money away to take care of the child's education, improvements in living situations, or for emergencies like unemployment. The appearance is that the individual is spending energy indulging themselves in the moment, while ignoring the long-term needs of themselves and their kids. Especially if illegal drugs are involved - what happens when mom or dad goes to prison?

    The percentage of the family's time and money budget spent on Mom and/or Dad partying really shouldn't be that high.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 6:09 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

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