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How can I get my teen to talk to me and be more open with me?

She is 15 will be 16 January but she is very quite with me and i feel that she hates me she keeps telling me that she is almost 18 and when she is she is leaving.

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smomof5

Asked by smomof5 at 2:20 AM on Nov. 2, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (34 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I don't have teens at home, but I am a counselor for troubled teens. Building trust with a teen can be hard. Letting them know you are there to support them and make sure you don't over react when They do something wrong. Teens have it rough. Its a time of transition in our lives. Letting them know its ok to make mistakes and to learn.
    In the end it is important for parents to be stearn and hold their ground but be supportive and good listen to our children. Hope this helps. I'm not sure what exactly you are looking for. What is your child doing?
    mrsrobin

    Answer by mrsrobin at 2:41 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Well she has been tortured for years by others call lesbian and a slut and all kinds of stuff. I am so confused but I have gotten letters from girls pictures from girls and girls talking about stuff. I know kids are mean! But what caused this? what i want is for her to open up with me. My mom beat me called me names and I was abused. I am tryin to break my mom's mold but my daughter controls me. She ignores me will stop talking and stay in her room. i tried telling her to go to cousiling and use it to vent but she won't. I try to talk with her and she gets all emotinal and cries....I am confused....I just talk not saying nothing...but she just cries...I think she is losing it
    smomof5

    Comment by smomof5 (original poster) at 2:47 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I KNOW HOW U FEEL MY GIRL JUST TURND 15 AND SHE LIVES WITH HER DAD AND SHE SAYS SHE HATE IT THERE AND HIM SHE CANT WAIT TI BE 18 SO SHE CAN MOVEOUT
    STRESSICA

    Answer by STRESSICA at 2:49 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Take her to lunch, make it a mandatory once a month thing. Right off the bat tell her that you love her and will love her no matter what. Tell her that it hurts that she no longer talks to you the way she used to and you are only concerned about her. Respect her privacy, but at the same time reach for a connection. Just be there and let her know it. If something is going on she will come around.
    mrssullivan

    Answer by mrssullivan at 5:42 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I agree with stressica. Giving her the chance to talk with no repurcussions, but make her aware that of she tells you about someone being hurt You have to do something. She will eventually talk with you. Good luck. Your concern and care shows.
    mrsrobin

    Answer by mrsrobin at 5:48 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Keep climbing those walls they put up and never ever give up.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:01 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • My daughter is 15. I have always talked with her about everything. When she cries, I hold her close and let her ball. When she is finished crying, it is amazing what comes from her mouth. I feel like her best friend, her favorite aunt, and her mother all rolled up into one. I set firm boundaries and let her say what she feels and discuss those feelings no matter how wrong I feel they are or how much they terrify me. At this point in their lives we are there to provide information for them. They have to decide what part of that information they take and use and what to throw away. And we are there to pick up the pieces and start over. Remember what is was like when you were 15. Try to act toward your child the way you wanted to be treated. Tell her why you are acting this way. She will hear you and react soon. Be patient.
    auntifrog

    Answer by auntifrog at 9:46 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Just keep letting her know you're there for her. Teen years are tough, and pulling away from mom is a normal part of development. Be patient.
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 1:04 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • My daughters have always talked to me about everything. I think the reason we have this kind of relationship is because I never judge, or put them down for feeling a certain way. I always try to listen when they talk, and I ask questions, and let them answer. When they are done talking I may make a suggestion, and I put it as a question: "What would happen if you did...?" Or, I agree with them that what happened was shitty, and just hug them and let them cry. It sounds like there is some serious bullying going on, and I would put a stop to that right now. I would go to the principal, or school counselor and I would get to the bottom of it, and let them know that I wasn't going to stand for it for another minute. Consider removing her from school, and maybe find a smaller school that she can go to, and get a fresh start. That is just horrendous, and it's not right.
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 1:45 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Talk to her, watch tv shows with her. Take her shopping, tell her you love her. Be non-judgmental when she talks listen. Do not interrupt her. Keep on talking. Go out for coffee, tea or a movie. The thing is these kids are in need of relationships even though they don't know how to forge them.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 11:30 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

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