Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


Answer Question

Asked by STRESSICA at 2:46 AM on Nov. 2, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I am sorry, but this is a very vague question. It would depend on why they're not talking in the first place and the general overall scenario. Please explain more, because I can't help you based solely on that question. GL

    Answer by Razelda at 3:11 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Whatever the issue is do not "force" her to talk to him. If there has been some sort of conflict leave it to them to work out. DO NOT take sides, especially in front of her. In private you may say to him "Do you think that was a little too long to ground her?" In a totally non accusatory manner of course. Or you could try to encourage her to see things from a parents prespective.

    Answer by mrssullivan at 5:38 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • More details would be oh so helpful here.

    Answer by salexander at 11:04 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Don't force her and more details would be helpful to get better answers.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:12 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Teenage girls go through a phase of not talking to their fathers. This too shall pass.

    Answer by CometGirl at 7:34 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • You don't. They need to define their relationship, you can't do that for them - and you shouldn't try. You can encourage her to ask for her dad's advice and opinions, but you can't "get her" to talk to him if she chooses not to.

    Answer by justnancyb at 1:12 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I agrea with justnancyb - you can not define your daughters relationship with her father. She has to do that on her own. You can't force the relationship to be something that it isn't. As justnancy said you encourage her to ask for her dad's advice or opinions but you can't make her talk to him if doesn't want to.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:42 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • My daughter's sperm donor showed up at our door when she was 14. For 14 years I had begged him to talk to her, to write to her, to communicate with her. A few years he would call around Thanksgiving and ask her what she wanted for Christmas, get her hopes up that she was going to get it, and then nothing. Until the birthday rolled around, with the same scenario. He was paying $200. a month child support for those 14 years, under duress, that was the only reason he paid. I let him move into our spare room, and he immediately went to work on my daughter. It didn't work, he couldn't turn her against me, and she told me EVERYTHING as it happened, so that took a while for him to accept. She can't force herself to talk to him about her personal life, he wants to know everything, and i DON'T try to force it. He's an alcoholic, so she avoids him mostly, she just hugged him for the first time a week ago, and she is 17 now.

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 10:07 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Sorry this is so long, the point I am trying to make is that teenage girls have parts of their lives that are extremely private, and that's fine. When she gets her feet under her, and comes to term with the woman she is within herself, she will have the confidence to talk to her dad, and share things with him. Maybe even ask for advice about a boy! You can't rush it, just try to make him understand that it's normal for her to act this way, part of her growing up!

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 10:10 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.