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why would my husband of 2 years rather masterbate in bed while he thinks I'm sleeping than have sex with me more than once a week?

I catch him alot in the middle of the night while he thinks I'm asleep. If I move he stops and starts up again if he thinks the coast is clear. I also found some porn sights he hides from me on his work laptop when he left it open one night. He is looking at porn when he travels for a few days and still comes home and does not want sex with me 1 or less times a week

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helpme17

Asked by helpme17 at 4:17 AM on Nov. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (39 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Have you talked to him about it?
    bucky77

    Answer by bucky77 at 4:30 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • It's less stressful, no pressure on him. Or he doesn't find you attractive anymore. Why not ask him and see what he says?

    I'm willing to bet it has to do with stress, either work related or at home issues. Communicate.
    dmdblleb

    Answer by dmdblleb at 4:31 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Yes, I've spoken to him about it and our lack of sex many times. We have been together for over 4 years and married for two. The problem for me started when we got engaged. We are both in our mid 30's and are just now expecting our first child in 5 months. This lack of sex makes me think that it is because he would rather masterbate then put forth the effort to have sex. I've even conditioned myself to make it fast and painless sort of speak so it does not take up too much of his time. I feel that I am a beautiful women inside and out. Plenty of men hit on me daily yet I can't seem to get my husband's mind on sex with me ever. it's like clock work a couple minutes once a week on Sunday mornings or even less than that. Any other day he jumps out of bed before I get up and stays up late while I go to sleep. When I try to touch him in the middle of the night when I know he is arroused he just turnes over and acts mad
    helpme17

    Comment by helpme17 (original poster) at 4:39 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • maybe because he thinks that the sex is boring have you try to do new things with him turn the flame up again you could start wearing langerie or eaven buy toys --- good luck : )
    Genesis29

    Answer by Genesis29 at 4:48 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Well there is something wrong,do you think he is cheating?I hate to bring that up,it not right for him to roll over when you try and no he is aroused.I'm sorry you have to go though this, is he willing to talk to someone?
    bucky77

    Answer by bucky77 at 5:01 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Wait... don't think of cheating... my husband was like that when I was pregnant... it turned out he was afraid he'd hurt the baby during sex... mabey you should bring that up and let him know nothing bad will happen. My DH actually thought he'd poke the baby... LOL!
    Gremlyn1980

    Answer by Gremlyn1980 at 5:35 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • That's the reason why? Your pregnant. A lot of guys do not like to have sex with their SO when they are pregnant.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:43 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Maybe he thinks sex with you sucks, maybe hes scared cause you're pregnant. We have no idea, this is something you'll have to discuss with him.
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 7:01 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Talk to him. How are we supposed to know?
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:50 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Tell him how you feel. It's very important for married couples to connect sexually. If he's jacking off so much he has no juice left for you that is a problem. Ask him what's up. Communicate. It's hard but really what other choice do you have?
    BluDog

    Answer by BluDog at 12:23 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

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