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Can I vent on here? I don't have a sexlife and it's driving up the walls again!

Sexlife ... man, I'd be over the moon if I'd get touched at all. Kissed, hugged, feel some skin. I don't nessecarily need to get laid. I'm naturally a very physical person. (Touching customers is a great way to connect! If the chemitry is right.)
Due to really bad medical circumstances my husband can't give it to me anymore. We're married for 4 years now and had sex 2 times. Both times he was sick for weeks because of the physical effort. Kisses aren't much more than a short contact of lips (obstructive breathing). I can't cuddle up to him and lay my head on his chest because it's too much weight on his ribcase. We don't touch. If I was in his shoes I wouldn't feel like mading out either being in pain 24/7. And we don't talk about it anymore, because... honestly, what is there to talk about.Predictions are his condition will get worse bit by bit. No cure.

To be continued


Asked by Anonymous at 7:46 AM on Nov. 2, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • So very sorry for you and what is happening to him... Your such a strong women for standing by his side, supporting him through such a difficult time in both your lives.. how unselfish of you not to run out and just get meaningless sex from some random. In the end there will be a huge reward for all your love, patience, honesty, integrity and commitiment to him and yourself!

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 10:11 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I'm so sorry. HUGS to you (with physical contact!) I hope venting helped.

    Answer by kjrn79 at 8:02 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I'm sorry about your situation. I'm sure he probably feels the same way you do though. ((hugs))

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 8:08 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I am sorry honey I wish there was something I could say that will make you feel better, hugs.

    Answer by Alisim at 9:42 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • i am sorry that is rough.... would a toy work??

    Answer by AmaliaD at 9:51 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I feel bad, because he didn't ask for being sick.
    At times I want to go out and get laid. (But who would have me.) At times I can't sleep because I feel guitly about the phantasies I'm having. At times I want to cry. Sometimes I want to shout it all in his face and get it off my chest. But I can't. How humiliating would that be. There's nothing he can do about it. He's lost so much so far, how can I rub in his face that he lost his manhood too?
    Sometimes I exercise, clean the house like mad,m try to keep myself busy with all sorts of thing, but there's an empty space inside that just won't go away.
    When we met, he showed me how wonderful sex can be (until then it just had been crappy with others) and I want it back!
    IDK, I'll probably continue to deal with it one day at a time. But I want to be true to myself and my needs aswell.
    Well, then ... nothing's changed, but thank you for listening.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:54 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Ha! I was just thinking about that. The reward. What would that be, what if there is none? I keep telling myself to do the right thing. There are doubts though.
    As for the meaningless sex ... Could be a relief, but I don't fancy an STD either.
    Thank you everybody for the encouraging words! Yes, venting helped. :-)

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:17 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • There will be a reward.. you just have to beleive it and be positive ;)..
    There will continue to be dobuts but atleast so far you don't have guilt ;).
    Could be relief.. for now... but later you sound like a women who have so much guilt. ;)
    p.s. toys would help too, i agree with AmaliaD...

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 10:43 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I'm so sorry you are going through this! Good luck.
    And I bet your DH feels even worse than you do about it. :(

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 2:46 PM on Nov. 2, 2010