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3 Bumps

The other granma.

Me and My granddaughters other granma both babysit her for my dd.Our GD is just 18 months and her hair grows very fast and just beautful but her other grandma when she has her takes her and cuts it short like a little bob its cute but she's a girl not a boy.My dd said she has told her to never cut it but still does.She keeps her hair very short as well and raised only boys.Question my dd wants me to say something to her about it.Why won't she stand up to her? She's the Mom?The grandma is veryyy controling and does things her way anyways but is very good with our GD.sorry so long;)How should she be confronted with it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Nov. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Wow, that's tough! I can't believe she would do that. Can you just tell her your daughter wants to grow it long so she can wear pig tails?
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 11:00 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I think either your daughter or her husband should tell the other grandmother. I can't imagine cutting a child's hair without the parent's permission, even my grandchild, and I sure wouldn't let anyone watch my child that didn't respect my wishes as the parent.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:06 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I would sit down and have a family meeting and tell them whats going on and try to get her to understand where you are coming from.and if she doesnt like what you have to say then tell her that she is not to get your childs hair cut unless you are with them.
    tinkerbella3

    Answer by tinkerbella3 at 11:13 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Your daughter and the baby's father should BOTH sit his mother down and say "Susie is OUR daughter and as her parents it is OUR place to decide to cut her hair - or not, and we choose to have her hair grow out and be long. So we are asking you to stop cutting her hair. If you do not follow our wishes, then we will not allow you to have our child unsupervised- as we would not be able to trust you anymore".
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:22 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • It should not be up to you. Your daughter - or better yet your son in law - should sit the other grandma down and tell her that it is not up to her to get your granddaughter's hair cut. That is a parenting decision - and like someone else said it will become a trust issue. I can see her getting her a little trim, but to make the decision of cutting it right off is over stepping her bounds.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 11:59 AM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I would have told my MIL that if she cut my DD's hair one more time, she would not get the child alone again. My stupid MIL dropped my DD on her head and then didn't tell me she had when my DD cried all night. She didn't get her again for a long time. If you can't trust MIL with one thing then you can't trust her with anything else. Go with your daughter when SHE tells her MIL how it is.
    depressedmom65

    Answer by depressedmom65 at 12:35 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • your daughter's husband (the child's dad) need to talk to his own mom and tell her - no more hair cutting or you wont be TRUSTED to care for the child anymore! end of story.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 1:16 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Your daughter has to take her stand now against this woman or she will continue to have issues with her. One thing to remember about a controlling person is they don't see themselves as being controlling they look at it as helping out...in any event, your daughter has to stand her ground and by doing that she has to have reinforcement from your granddaughters father. Whether he says anything or not, just having his presence there will speak volume IF your daugther says the right things.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 2:07 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Your daughter and DH need to talk to the other grandma, not you. Its not your place, and she may take it really wrong. Its not your child. Its not your place.
    IMO, your daughter needs to "man-up" and stand up for HER kid. Is she afraid of the "other grandma"?
    I havent been in this exact position, but if there is something that I want to happen, or not happen, in reguards to my daughter, I say something. I dont expect anyone else to. Its part of growing up and being a parent.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 2:33 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • i agree with mme.langley... your dd needs to stand up for her self and her own dd... all i know is that i do my own sons hair and when i first cut it my mil told my husband not to let me cut our sons hair again hahaha not like that was going to stop me from cutting again... now i'm letting my sons hair grow out... i think no matter what long or short hair as long as it's cute it's up to the parents on how they want there kids to look... but if it was me in that position my child would not be going over without me being there. but venting out to you is one things your her mother and an open ear but to want you to handle her buisness is not right.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 5:10 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

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