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young mom

I'm a young mom, not married. I didn't plan my pregnancy but my daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me. The love I experience is overwhelming. I find myself crying a lot. I knew my life would change, but I thought it would be only what I DID, not how I FELT. it'slike I'm a different person. these emotions are so overwhelming. so much to think about sometimes I just want to sit a lone and feel nothing at all. i dont know who i am anymore. im scared.. i have my boyfriend who i love and family and my amazing daughter but i still feel alone and worthless. thinking whats my purpose in this world besides being a mother? do i really need to get up and shower and wear something besides sweats, whats the point? whats the point of doing anything besides devoting my life to my child. sometimes this is how i feel. just anxious and confused a lot. any help would be great.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on Nov. 2, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • how old is your child? It sounds like you could be experiencing some depression right now..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:51 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • it does sound like you may be a little depressed, it is pretty common to get some of these feelings after you have a baby. Just remember that you have to take care of yourself to take care of your baby. You should talk to your dr about how you feel and they can get you to the right person to talk to you and see if you need more care to help you out. You should also let your family know how you are feeling so they can help get you through this. know that you arent alone.
    foxracing43701

    Answer by foxracing43701 at 12:58 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I agree that it would be a good idea to talk to your doctor. I think your feelings are pretty normal and your doctor could help you decide if you need some medicine or if you can work thru this in another way. Exercise always helps, too. But I think everyone feels a bit like "who am I besides a mother" especially in the beginning when the baby needs you so much and it really just seems all consuming. And I won't lie to you, the baby needs you A LOT for a while- like maybe six months or so. Then from 6-12 months things kind of calm down and the baby gets on a schedule and you can start to count on some free time for yourself during naps and after bedtime. Some time to be an adult, to be a woman and a girlfriend again and to do whatever you want. So know that those times will come again and try to keep some of yourself in tact now so that you can still enjoy the times in the future when you're not just mom. Hang in there! GL!
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:13 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • It is easy to get dragged under the overwhelming feelings that come along with being a parent. However, you have to keep your head above water. Not only for your daughter but for yourself. You are more then just a mother, a girlfriend, a daughter, a sibling, and a friend. You are yourself and there is more to life then being something to everyone else. You may have lost yourself, but that only should encourage you more to wake up in the morning to find out who you are again. New hobbies, nights out with friends or the boyfriend, testing out new skills, reading new books, etc. Everything in life is a change, from the breath you take to the choice you make. It's really suffocating to let it get the best of you, so embrace what has changed and allow it to make your life better. YOU have control over your life, and if you don't like the way things are then find ways to make it better.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:18 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • For sure talk to your doctor and sometimes getting up and getting ready will make you feel better! I felt the same when I had each of my kids so you are not alone!! It takes alot out of us moms and if you hand in there you will be ok. My mom always says (This to shall pass) and it is so true! I have 4 now and for me having 1 was way harder than having 4. First time moms have it hard because we don't know what to expect! You stay strong and take care of you so you can take care of your baby!!!!!! You are not alone for sure!!!
    momdlc

    Answer by momdlc at 1:23 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I would talk to my doctor ASAP
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 1:33 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • IMO, my purpose in lifeis to be a mother to my 5 kids! That is what I feel I was put here for.
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 1:40 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Sounds like you got some ppdepression, have you talked to your dr. about it.
    NicholeAT

    Answer by NicholeAT at 1:47 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • It sounds like you're starting to feel depressed, I would recommend talking to your doctor. I started feeling this way a couple years ago and it got completely out of control (my kids are 16 & 12 now). Catching this early is a good thing, you can start to work on the things to bring fulfillment back into your life. That was my problem, I love being a mom, my children are amazing and its a wonderful feeling to have them in my life. It is an overwhelming love that we have for them. However its not good to sacrifice all of ourselves, to loose ourselves. Once they are grown what do we have left? When they no longer needs us as much or as often? We need to reconnect with ourselves. A great book to read is: "Who Am I?: The 16 Basic Desires That Motivate Our Behavior and Define Our Personality" It's important to do the things that we find fulfilling...You can take care of you and still be the best mother out there.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:09 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

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