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4 Bumps

So I guess he can never be a "good" father then...

My husband has a son who is 20 years old, he was married to his mother for the first 15 months, and then they got a divorce because she was having an affair. My husband admits he wasnt a good father back then because he worked all the time and would only see his son in the morning ( & then every other weekend after the divorce). He has tried to make it up to his sona nd they are trying to make their relationship work now. My husband is paying for all of his college, a new car, takes him to ball games and does alot of activites together, he styas with us alot and we are becoming very close.

We now have a 4 y/o little girl and 2 year old boy who is also getting close to their big brother.

The only problem is that his mother is causing problems ! She literally said that my children do not deserve to have him be a good dad. She will tell this to anyone who will listen - what would you do about this ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Nov. 2, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (21)
  • Nothing. You don't have anything to prove to anyone so let her run her mouth. She's only doing it out of jealousy so be happy that you have what she never did. If your husband is being a good dad to his kids thats all that matters.

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 1:59 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I would try to ignore her the best I could. Know you are better people and kudos to dad.

    Answer by elizabr at 2:01 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • i agree with PP nothing. just be happy and try to have as little ot do with her as possible. since he is 20 , i think he is old enough to be in your life without the mom interfering. gl! some people enjoy being bitter and meddlesome. best luck to you and your family. ps he sounds like a good dad to me.

    Answer by stargazer74 at 2:02 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Tell her to piss off.

    Answer by Roadfamily6now at 2:02 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Ignore it.

    Answer by older at 2:03 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I think its wrong of her to say. Well shes the one who had an affair and caused the marriage to end in divorce - would she want that being told to everyone who will listen? I bet not. He didnt see his kid back then that often cause he had to work! Would she rather like a man who doesnt have a job? Some jobs just require a lot of time but some families just gotta bring teh money in somehow so I dont think hes a bad dad for trying to give his children a good life. Now hes paying for his college and got him a new car which is great. Lots of families cant afford that.
    Dont let this bother you what she says, maybe and most likely shes just jealous. Jelosue of what he can give his son and teh good relationship you guys are having.

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 2:03 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I would ignore it. His ex shouldn't really have any involvement in your kids' life, I assume, so her words won't be heard by their ears and I am sure most people she tells this to don't agree with her. Surely she has left over feelings of resentment and jealousy that her son missed out on these things when he was your children's age but no one can go back and change the past. All your DH can do is move forward and it sounds like he is building a great bond with his oldest son. That may even make her a little jealous but she will have to learn to live with it and hopefully in time she will. And her son is old enough to see thru these things and make up his own mind. I would just let her be. Sometimes people get too comfortable in their thinking and she may prefer to keep blaming your husband for messing up her life, her kids life, etc, because it's easier to blame others than look at what you did to contribute to the problem.

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:03 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I wouldn't do anything...she's probably still hurtin and bitter.....she'll eventually see how bitter she is and move on....

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 2:03 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Ignore her. She's a jealous FOOL.

    Answer by KairisMama at 4:06 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Oh yes, that Mother is right- your husband should never get the chance to make amends and do the right thing because we all know what a horrible thing that is- ignore her and her bitterness.....

    Answer by soyousay at 6:26 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

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