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2 Bumps

How can I prevent the meltdown?

I have a brilliant 19 y/o son who earned a scholarship & seemed to be on track to a bright future. He lost his dad in Feb. & it's been a downward spiral ever since. At first I thought being w/ friends was helpful, but now he seems to have lost his focus on what's important & seems destined for failure instead of greatness. I need helpful advice please.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Nov. 2, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • My nephews lost my brother to suicide and therapy is essential. There are books to read to for you. I think one was dealing with boys without a father.
    Take him to a therapist and make sure it is a good one for kids of his age.Good luck honey. He needs time to grieve the loss of a parent can be harder than others. My nephews are starting to turn the corner almost 4 years later. xoxoxo
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 4:41 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • He might benefit from some counseling, and he might be droning his grieve with drugs and this is what has got him going down in that spiral. Find out about what he does with these friends and who his friends really are.
    older

    Answer by older at 4:08 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • My son went through some thing similar when he lost his grandmother at a young age. I know that the loss of a parent is very different, but get him to counseling. If he doesnt want to start out with an individual, get him into a group.
    SAfogus

    Answer by SAfogus at 4:16 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Take him to talk to a proffessional. It might help him to get these feelings out and to share it with an unbiased person.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:23 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Ask him to go with you if he won't go alone.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 8:10 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I would definitelya sk him to go talk to a therapist. They can aid him in his grieving and help him through his emotions so he can overcome this and get back on the right track.
    SkylaDarling

    Answer by SkylaDarling at 10:19 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Sometimes you have to let them completely meltdown before they will accept the help that has been offered. Just be there without the "I told you so" and help him pick up the pieces and find a counselor that he will talk to.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 12:20 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Perhaps he needs a hum drum monotonous job to go to for a while. Something that doesn't require him to be at the top of his game every single day. If his grades are suffering and he is depressed that he just can't do it all. Let him know that he doesn't have to do it all all of the time. It could be that his biggest problem is that he just can't concentrate and therefore his grade suck, which an honor student almost always reflects back on himself to mean he isn't a valuable person. It hurts to be getting C's in a class you should be getting A's in. Then you don't want to get out of bed and go to class. And that isn't good for your grades. Spiral spiral spiral. Break the pattern with something he is bound to succeed at.

    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 11:26 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • therapy
    gianna530

    Answer by gianna530 at 11:39 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • *drowning*
    older

    Answer by older at 4:08 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

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