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3 Bumps

What am I to do? I know i was wrong, should I let him go through my stuff(voicemails, facebook, myspace, emails, etc.)? adult content

My boyfriend & I have been together for almost 2 years now. We broke up for about a week several months ago. I went on craigslist & posted an ad & started talking to a guy. He found out about it & got mad (even though we were still broken up). I quit talking to him when my boyfriend & I got back together. Now, ever since May or June we were having troubles again(mainly from not spending enough time together ¬ having enough sex. While we were together I went back on craigslist &responded to ads that guys had posted. I started talking to a different guy& talked to him for like a week, I sent him pics that I shoulnt have sent. Well my boyfriend went through my facebook, myspace, and yahoo email(where the messages were), he seen the pics &emails. We had a huge argument. We're still together and have been having sex everyday since then. He still want to go through my computer. Im not talking to anyone though. Should I let him

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Nov. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • your relationship sounds pretty unhealthy. i encourage you seek couples therapy.

    rfurlongg

    Answer by rfurlongg at 4:05 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Hey, if you got nothing to hide why not? it might restore his faith in you, I say let him.
    older

    Answer by older at 4:05 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • well if you have nothing to hide theres no problem, let him see it. Maybe hes upset that you went out to talking to other guys so quickly and maybe hes scared they still email you and you respond. If you shut down and say you dont want him to see you email he will probably think you have something to hide.
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 4:05 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • If you are that unfaithful when things get tough you should just break up. Are you going to run to other men every time there's a bump in the road? If you are serious about being with this man, then yes, you need to give him access to everything.People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 4:06 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • ...wow... he should trust you, but you have gave him no reason to trust you. I dont see this relationship lasting. Im sorry you just cant have a great relationship with no trust! Everything going get tough you move on....
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 4:07 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • If I were your boyfriend, I wouldn't still be with you. You admittedly continued to correspond with men on Craiglist (and ewww, who the hell tries to meet people on craigslist?) while you guys were together, so I believe that is technically cheating. However, if he's making the decision to stay with you anyway--maybe for that whole "sex every day" thing you mentioned-- then you need to be prepared for him to not trust you. I sure wouldn't. And if he doesn't trust you, then yes, he may dig through your crap to see if you're sending inappropriate photos to other men again. You reap what you sow, and you've sown dishonesty and infidelity here. These are the consequences. Perhaps trust may be regained over time, but for now, I'm sure he will continue to be suspicious.
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 4:07 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I would, he is having a difficulty trusting you right now and has reason to at this point. Its difficult when issues like this arise. However there is a massive difference between checking your stuff due to a situation and doing it to control you. In this case its due to distrust. I personally wouldn't have a problem with my SO checking my things. I have NOTHING to hide.
    AugustMidge

    Answer by AugustMidge at 4:10 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Honestly, I'd not only go to couples therapy, but more importantly therapy for yourself to find out why the second there is an issue with you boyfriend you RUN for other men. That is a huge red flag. And inappropriate pictures over the internet??? How incredibly stupid can you be?? I'm sorry that I'm being harsh, but wow. How old are you? I'm guessing well under 20. I'm sad for you. And don't worry about your boyfriend, that relationship won't last even if you do let him go through your computer.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Been there done that. In the end , he took out the hard drive and sold the computer and I started fresh. GL and don't let a computer and the bs get inbetween you and your husband. Computers break up the best of families. Don't let it break you up ever.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • If he has said he forgave you then that means he may not agree with what you did but he understands your human and are not perfect. Which means he should trust you again. The same way you would trust him if it were him that would have done this to you. If he can't trust you then he shouldn't have forgave you. It's unfair for you to not have your privacy and it's unfair for him to be stressing what you do 24/7. You may need counseling and more working at your relationship and do things for him that you would never do for anyone else. It can boost his insecurties and raise your love for him. Be kind and considerate. Do not yell it only spreads poison rather then medicine... Patience is the key and trust is the base of every relationship.. no relationship is successful without it.
    Shanti0327

    Answer by Shanti0327 at 4:34 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

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