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What would you think if....

your DH was 50 years old, married for over 10 years, with children (some of them young adult age) some of them younger and has grandkids. He works with young, single 20 somethings who want to take him out to "hang with the guys" when these guys are all single, no kids, still live at home, want to go "clubbing" and do things that 20 somethings do. Would you care if your DH (in his 50's) went with these guys that are young enough to be his own kids? Also, mind you, the DH refuses to hang out with guys his own age/close to his age and won't make friends with other couples so you can do things together. Would you be bothered by it or would you care less if your DH goes out with these young men? Especially when they want to go to places like Tattoo expo's, clubs, bars, etc.....

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Oct. 31, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • well i agree it seems very odd... these young guys will probably egg your hubby on to do stupid things. is your husband interested in going to clubs and tat shows?? it would totally bug me particularly if he refuses to do other things - if this is his only interest

    Answer by figaro8895 at 5:08 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • It completely bothers me and we have had many arguments over the issue. I have begged him to try to make friends that are married, or closer to our age, that we have things in common. With such an age difference, there isn't much in common. He isn't really interested, so he says, in all of it. He just wants to go hang out with them without me. He says I should trust him. Places like that though are crawling with "raw flesh" and of course he is going to check out all the women, come on, he's a guy no matter what his age. The fact that he makes it such a point to call these co-workers his "friends" and not wanting to hang with me bothers me. It's almost like he's regressing. Guess it's "mid-life crisis". Who knows? I just don't like it or the guys he works with.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Hell yes it would bother me. Not only is he too old to be going to clubs but he should be going out with you and other couples not single 20 year olds.

    Answer by Su-Z-Q at 5:35 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • I really couldn't imagine someone that age wanting to hang out with men half his age. To me that says mid-life crisis. I'd be cautious. And I would NOT let my hubby go to strip clubs!

    Answer by feesharose at 6:11 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • yeah i agree that is really odd and i think i wouldn't mind as much if he were spending time with me and had some friends his own age and only saw that once in awhile. the fact that he doesn't want you to go to would really bother me. i don't think you can control him or change his mind on this so you just have to accept him. it would be nice if you could somehow video him and then have him see how ridiculous he looks.

    Answer by melody77 at 6:26 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • I personally think he is getting to the point that is worried about being too old and not cool. Like you said ,big time, "mid life crisis". Hopefully he will get over it. Try doing some things with him that might make him feel better about himself. Suggest a new haircut or get a membership to a gym. Go on a little vacation. I think he needs a morale booster. Maybe you should try the same things, it might wake him up.

    Answer by bubblebean at 7:24 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • It will bother me A LOT. Talk to hem maybe he fields "old" and he need that excitement he got when he was younger. Like bubblebean suggested make him get a new haircut, go to a park. do stuff that he like to do.

    Answer by Jamie8788 at 7:59 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • I agree with the person that says this sounds like mid life crisis. Any one part of it, to a certain extent, wouldn't be so bad (well, except for the strip clubs, I don't like those, for men or women, for any reason, but I respect that as far as they go honestly, it's to each their own, if it's your thing, it's your thing...).
    But the fact that he doesn't want to have any "couples friends", he only wants to hang out with people that are young enough to be his kids (no problem with friends spanning a large age span, but to ONLY hang out with them?...), to want to do the "party scene" with that group (not all younger adults party like that, not all older ones are responsible), etc, all says mid life crisis. Only you can decide how much of it you're willing to "ride out" and put up with.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:18 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • yep sure would, most young guys are wild

    Answer by camtri3 at 10:33 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Thanks for all of your responses because he thinks I am just a nagging bitchy wife and he won't listen when I say anything to him. Thanks for all your suggestions. Although, I give him his haircuts and we won't do the gym thing either because he has stated he wants to join the gym but not go with me. He wants to go with the guys from work, of course! UGH!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

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