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I am a very insensitive woman and DH is very sensitive...what can I do to become more sensitive?

DH is very easily hurt with my forwardness and harshness. I mean I went through a very abusive marriage and was dragged to my very lowest point for 16 yrs and once I broke free from that I refused to ever be put in that position again. I am never mean or harmful just forceful with my thoughts and what I want. I am firm and strong but hate that DH feels like he has no choices in any matters. He said he doesnt mind but I can see and feel it bothers him. What can I do to lessen the "bitch" in me and show him I can be sweet and nice and less in control?


Asked by 4_28_bbboy at 5:04 PM on Nov. 2, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • I agree, counceling. cause you might get him to his breaking point to where out of no where he will be gone and u will hear "you pushed me away". sad. Im happy you are wanting to better yourself for him and for you :) KUDOS

    Answer by mommyoftristan at 5:40 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Put yourself in his shoes. It kinda sounds like you're taking your past bad relationship out on him. Or worse, become a dictator like your abuser. I don't know you, just what you posted here, so I truly can't say. I do know that stopping for a minute and really thinking about how the other person will feel when you say things will make a dramatic difference. Good luck!

    Answer by silversmom at 5:06 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • smoke a joint every once in a while

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • if you've not had counseling after being in an abusive relationship, you should get some. I speak from experience.

    Answer by silversmom at 5:11 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I would recommend some counseling. And you know your husband isn't the kind of man you ran from, so don't be mean to him. Don't take things out on him. You are essentially punishing him for what your ex did. I've been through it and I did it to my husband for a while after we first got together. I didn't even realize thats what I was doing until someone sat me down and pointed out.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 5:13 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I think counseling to morn some of the hurt you've felt - you very much aren't trying to push him away but I think you probably built a wall that is going to be hard to break down, especially if you don't know how to do it.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:20 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • hahah about the joint...LOL

    You might be right silversmom...I guess I might be doing what I was trying to run away from so many years ago...I mean I am not physically violent like my X was but I see where I might be taking control (dictatorship) like the way my X started before the physical abuse...I might seek counseling for me and for us as a couple....

    Comment by 4_28_bbboy (original poster) at 5:10 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • never did get counseling ...maybe it could be the best thing to do right now...

    Comment by 4_28_bbboy (original poster) at 5:12 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • hobbitswife...exactly...a friend of mine pointed it out to me this morning and I started to think about it and she was right...

    Comment by 4_28_bbboy (original poster) at 5:19 PM on Nov. 2, 2010