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i want a kid but age says i shouldnt...

im 16 and i know i shouldnt be having sex let alone wanting a kid. ive had 3miscarriages and its kinda hard seeing everyone else with their kids. everytime i go in the baby stuff in target i get teary eyed. ive wanted a kid since before my 1st m/c but i wasnt trying to get pregnant cause it was crazy. i volunteer and babysit w/kids but its not helping my want for a baby anymore. i dont need to see a consuler, ive already talkd to someone after each miscarriage. what should i do? nothing gonna change or help cope and make me not want a kid right now.

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:50 PM on Nov. 2, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (7)
  • I have felt that many times in my life. I went and got a five year birth control so that I couldn't just give in and get pregnant. I have the Mirena IUD. There was some question about it not being safe for people that had not had kids already but I read somewhere that they were now inserting it in teens.

    It is totally hard for me too, but I would have to go and make an appointment to have it taken out. Every time I think I might do it, I put the appointment off a week and by that time I am back to my sane self.

    Good Luck honey! Concentrate on your school work and being the best you that you can be. When you are older and stable you can have lots of babies.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 6:56 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • How are you going to financially take care of a child and finish highschool? You will never see your child if you do both and if you drop out of school you wont be able to get a decent job without a GED at least. The responsibilities of raising a child should over ride your "want" for a baby. Oh, and it is irresponsible and so 16yrs old to expect others to financial provide for a baby that you should be providing for it yourself.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 6:59 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Then adopt a child, they want a family just as bad as you want a child and because you can select their age you can you usually find the perfect little kid.But don't give up on children even if you dont give birth to them they are still your children.

    Answer by Madgio1 at 7:09 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I understand the feeling of wanting a baby. Believe me, I do. But let me tell you, there is a difference between having a baby & raising a kid. Having a baby is great. You get to snuggle them, bond with them, dress them in cute clothes, show them off to all your friends, & they give you unconditional love. But raising a kid.. lol..that's a different story. A story that NO amount of babysitting will ever show you. See, they get to an age where they shove you away when you want to snuggle, they run when you try to get them dressed (and run faster when you are in a hurry), they throw tantrums in public, & they will eventually start saying things like "you ruined my life" and "I hate you". Those are things that have come out of my 8yo daughters mouth. It's not all fun and games. I suggest you think some more about this. My fiance and I have 5 kids with his, mine and ours. I would love another baby, but I DO NOT want another kid!!

    Answer by Megs5384 at 7:17 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Wanted to add.. I had my first when I was 18 (got pregnant at 17). And although I LOVE my daughter with all my heart & soul, I missed so much of my teens & early 20's because I chose to have her. I didn't go to my senior prom, I was pregnant at graduation, I didn't get to celebrate my 18th birthday the same way my friends were, I didn't get to just leave & go hang out with my friends, I wasn't able to pay for child care so I could work, so I wasn't able to be out on my own unless I wanted to be on housing, which I refused to do. The dad was no where around so I was all on my own. I didn't get to finish college, I didn't get to go out & celebrate my 21st bday. Dating was extremely hard because guys my age didn't want to be tied down, plus, I had to make sure anyone I did like was safe for my daughter to be around..
    Having a kid so young was REALLY HARD. Enjoy your teen years. Take full advantage of them. Wait on the baby...

    Answer by Megs5384 at 7:26 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Well first, it's good that you are honest in saying that you know it's crazy at your age but that you feel like it's what you want right now. I wont try to change your mind or force my opinions, because I was 16 once too and I know that no "old person" lol is gonna convince you. I will say that I think that you will be making the transition into adulthood more difficult (though not impossible) on yourself if you become a mother right now.
    One day no doubt, whether it be now or down the road you will have your baby and it will be amazing. Just remember that you will need to support this baby financially as well as emotionally. Please don't intentionally bring a child into the world with the intent of depending of government services. They do not supply everything you need and the things they cant give you are expensive as hell. Make sure you can bring your baby into a financially stable home first.

    Answer by AprylnAtticus at 8:34 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Perhaps you could give one of your friends a week long break from their babies. It would give you the satisfaction of having one but it would also show you all the effort it takes to be a full time mom. And then maybe all that work would make the idea of having a baby way less appealing to you. But for it to work you have to do it on your own. You can't have the parents of the baby there every day because then its just a visit, not the real thing. Do you get it?

    Answer by CalebsMommy0220 at 1:17 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

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