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2 Bumps

World's worst mom award goes to me... and this is not a plea for pity, I seriously need some help.

A man just came to my door with my 2 1/2 year old daughter in tow. She had gotten out of our back yard and was in the STREET. I'm trying really hard not to cry and scream right now. Our back yard is privacy fenced, but she squeezed through a tiny opening in the gate and got out while I was 4 feet away in the kitchen, making dinner and distracted in between checking on her.

I can't believe I let this happen. I am horrified with myself thinking of what could have happened to her.

Equally horrible, I can't get her to listen to me, no matter how consistant and strict I am, no matter how many time outs she has. And it makes me dislike parenting her. I love her more than life, but I hate the games she likes to play, I hate the shows she likes to watch, I'm at the end of my rope, and this incident proves to me that I am a seriously horrible mother.

HELP ME. Any advice welcome I HAVE to do better than this!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:18 PM on Nov. 2, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (25)
  • (Continue) As the child gets older you'll find out more and more that they're constantly trying to get out of something, find liency, and just simply try to do whatever they want without consequence. If it comes down to it lock all of her toys in a room and let her sit in the living room for an hour with nothing to do. Yes, she'll throw a fit, yes she'll try everything to disobey, but if you stand your ground and don't give in she'll learn. The second you bend the second she has you wrapped around her finger. No child is any different then the other in that matter. Some are more outward about it, while others are more sly. Either way, they all try to get away with something. The point is to be consistant, follow through, and never ever, ever give in. YOU are the parent, not her. She'll try to be, but you have to stand your ground.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:37 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • At 2 1/2, she shouldn't be outside without 100% supervision. Period. End of story.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 7:27 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Yes, you have a right to be upset. However, you now know that your daughter needs more supervision because she likes to go exploring. Thank goodness she didn't end up trying to cross the street. You are not a horrible mother because you are showing lots of concern for your child and what has just happened to her.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 7:23 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • I understand you being upset, however at such a young age, she shouldn't be anywhere unsupervised, especially not outside. It could happen to anyone but i'd just say to watch her better or get someone else to do so when you're busy. Also no tv, instead of timeout would prob do better as a punishment.
    Dark-N-Prego

    Answer by Dark-N-Prego at 7:30 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Well since you don't like the shows, and she doesn't like to behave. Good punishment = no TV.

    Since you got out the gate, find a way to fix it, and also be outside with her all the time since she's only 2.

    Maybe she needs more time with you - where you're actually playing with her and reading to her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • Some people think that physical spankings don't teach a child... THEY DO! When hubby whipps our 3 year old, he listens. This doesn't make you a horrible mother. Not at all. These things happen. With children under 5, the second you turn away and think they are okay, something like this happens. It's happened to everyone, I'm sure. The second I turned around from my son, he was rolling down 5 concrete steps outside of our front door. He was pretty beat up. He ran out in the road once when I getting groceries out of the car, all you heard was the car slam on their breaks and him scream. He was more scared than anything. It's something that will definately get you shaken up. DONT let her watch the shows you don't like, plain and simple! She's 2, she's NOT the mom. Spank her, MAKE her listen. Punish her from things. Let her sit in the corner for 15 minutes at a time when she does bad things. She'll learn. Give it some time.
    AtHomeMommy-3

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 7:27 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • yes , you have to do better than this.
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 7:30 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • You are not a horrible mother, s#!t happens and you learn from it. Now you know where she got out, go to Home Depot and ask them how to fix that spot so it doesn't happen again, take a pic to the store with you so they can see what you are talking about. As for the shows that your dd watches, I think everyone above the age of 5 hates them. You can always get her into the vintage cartoons you liked as a kid, or better yet, turn off the tv. Time outs have to be consistent, or it won't work, and with toddlers you have to do it A LOT for them to get it. And if you believe in spanking, try it. It's not for everyone, but in some cases it is effective. But save it as the worst possible punishment.
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 7:39 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • SPANK HER ASS TIME OUTS DON"T WORK
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

  • You don't need to spank her.
    A 2 year old should never be outside alone, ever. However, my son got outside through his playroom door without me even realizing it. We left it unlocked accidentially after bringing in the groceries. Let's just say that door is no longer used. He went right around to the front door and started playing with the mailbox, which is a cutout in the front of our house. If he hadn't have done that who knows how long it would've been before we realized he was gone. Made me nearly sick to my stomach just to think about it.

    As for her disobeying. Let me put it this way the "Games" she plays are because you allow her to play games. Her not listening shouldn't even be something to consider. There is only one parent between you and her. She will manipulate you as long as you allow her to. Punishments don't work 100% of the time, simply because kids are constantly trying to find your weakness.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:31 PM on Nov. 2, 2010

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