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2 Bumps

MIL advice.. grrr

So.. every time my MIL does anything for the kids (buy christmas gifts, clothes, ect) she always thinks that she is just doing SO much and we have to hear about it for months! But the thing is, these things are never asked of her. She takes it upon herself to go out and get it. Yesterday she asked me if I wanted her to get my daughter this kid tough digital camera for Christmas. I told her no thanks because the camera was my idea, wanted it to be from us, and it's one of the pricier things on my list for her (she's almost 4, thankfully the list is never too pricey.. YET lol). Well she bought it anyway. I'm thinking "Oh great...here we go" We will have to hear about this dang camera for months I am sure! Seriously if your going to make a big production about buying something for my children then i'd just rather her not do it. So... do I accept the camera? Do I tell her to take it back? (cont)

 
Ctink8189

Asked by Ctink8189 at 8:08 AM on Nov. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,991 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • Or maybe you should buy her something and everytime you see her tell her how much you spend on it, etc maybe she will get it then that if you are going to give something is not nice to rub it in your face all the time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • really, just ignore her comments and she will stop. My mil used to buy clothes, tons and tons of clothes and they were always the wrong size, never matched, out of season, things my kids didn't like and would then bitch and complain that the kids never wore them. So yeah, I think this happens alot-just let her do what she is going to do and ignore most of it. Do what you want to do and let the rest roll off your back like water, it's not worth the headache. Let her buy the camera and you buy the camera that your kid really wants and is physically able to use, if her camera gets pushed to the side so be it. GL
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 8:16 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I would tell my husband to talk to his mom. If she can't afford to spend the money on your kids then she shouldn't. Plain and simple. But since it is not your mom, it is your husbands job to tell her that. That's what I think anyway.
    fireeyes81

    Answer by fireeyes81 at 8:19 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Accept the camera gracefully, and keep it cordial in the long run it is to your best interest.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:21 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Your husband needs to be the one to deal with her. My only other advice to you is to stop telling her anything about what the children want or need. Keep all that to yourself. Then if she gets them anything, it will have to be her idea.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:36 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • i would make sure that you have your children draw her a "thank you" note any time that she buys them things or does something nice for them. and be sure that every time she mentions it that you tell her "thank you" and mean it sincerely. she is showing how much she loves all of you and she is trying to take some of the financial burden off of you and your hubby. i get jealous when people complain about their mil's and moms. my mom moved to FL when my son was 2 and my mil passed away last spring after being sick for about 2 years. i wish i had meddling moms. because at least i would have them to help when i need it! my mom used to thrift store shop for my son which saved us tons of money on new clothes. when she moved that all stopped. even though some of the clothes were not my style i was so happy to have all of those free clothes. good luck and be thankful she loves you.
    jocelynred

    Answer by jocelynred at 9:42 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I really wanted to put an end to this this year, which is why I told her no thanks. She bought the kids some clothes back in August and has been telling me for months about how much she spent on those clothes and how those are just going to be considered their Christmas gift 4 months early.
    Ctink8189

    Comment by Ctink8189 (original poster) at 8:10 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • If she already knew that you and your hubby were getting it, I would tell her to go get her money back. Tell her if she wants to do something pricey, buy her a savings bond. Maybe even start her a savings account. Then just buy a small gift. I mean really she is only 4. Right? Good luck.
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 8:13 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • She is doing what she thinks she should. She is expressing herself the way she knows. Let her and love her.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:34 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

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