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How do you deal with a 4 year old who has anxiety?

My 4 year old has anxiety and always has her fingers in her mouth when she gets nervous. She cries almost everyday when I drop her off at daycare, but is fine after 20 mins or so. She has fun at school while she is there, but has a hard time at drop off. She's also been more upset lately because my hubby has been working a lot and doesn't get to spend as much time with us. Any thoughts?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Nov. 3, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (5)
  • Is it because of the way you're dealing with her? From the way you said she gets upset because your DH is working a lot sounds like she is getting it from you. My DH works all the time but my son understands that daddy has to work so that mommy can be home with him and take care of him and so we have money to buy food and all the fun things we get to do. You have to set the confident...don't let your anxiety flow over onto her. Be confident when you drop her off, comfort her but don't act like it's a bad thing that she has to spend time away.

    Answer by lish2127 at 10:17 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • My son is like this also, its so hard to deal with - and so sad.. I don't have much advice as just keep reassuring them that Mom and dad come back , its ok, its great to have friends.. this might just always been an issue as it is for me and my husband but keep bringing her to social places and doing what you can to ease her mind that everything is ok... GL!~

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:18 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Can you get up a little earlier and spend some time with her at Daycare. Spend some time playing and have her show you around some. Spend some time talking positively with the teacher. Build up her confidence at the daycare. Playing peek a boo teaches them that you are coming back. If you are rushed in the morning it can make it more difficult.

    Answer by Momforhealth at 10:19 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I'm sorry that I don't have any advice for youb ut just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. My son tends to be anxious just as I was and have been my whole life.

    Answer by mlmsm928 at 4:24 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Having worked in day cares I have seen a lot of parents who are anxious that cannot understand why their children are anxious. Is there any way that she is feeding off anxiety from you? Do you have a really calm demeanor when you are dropping her off or doing things that she might normally be upset about. I see when a parent tenses up and thinks it may not be as noticeable, but kids pick up on things like that very well.

    Answer by KTMOM at 4:08 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

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