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2 Bumps

What constitutes as cheating to you?

In college I was dating this guy who kissed another girl. Per a letter that she wrote him, she kissed him and although she was apologetic for being so aggressive as she stated that she " JUST HAD TO TASTE HIS LIPS" I immediately broke up with him. He swears that it wasnt cheating. My best friend stated that she also wouldnt have broken up with him either just because he KISSED another girl. However this friend also stayed with her husband for years after he repeatedly cheated on her even giving her a STD.

So what constitutes cheating to you? Is kissing where you draw the line? What about hand holding or even talking on the phone or corresponding on some Social Networking website. or must it go all the way to actual sexual intercourse... does that include oral or anal sex? What about pornography or going to see an exotic dancer?


Asked by 35yoamom at 11:01 AM on Nov. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (10,016 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • i think kissing is the start of it let alone any physical contact that is meant to be intimate, whether its holding hands, hugging whatever. think about it like this.. if you find it offensive and it upsets you then its likely to be cheating.. tell him your boundaries and what he can and cannot do.. if he doesnt stick by it then get rid of him.. but in your scenario with the letter etc.. it seems like she forced it on him.. if he truely did not kiss her back then how is it cheating. its cheating if she kisses him and he kisses her back. and oral, anal and vag/ pen intercourse is the full blown cheating far as I am concerned.. as for emails and texts if they are corresponding flirting in a more intimate way or even just saying they look hot could be classed as cheating.. i know i wouldnt appreciate my husband talking dirty to some chick on the computer.. some may even think porn is cheating.. again your boundaries!.

    Answer by Weldo1983 at 11:07 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Anything that he wouldn't do if you were in the room

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:04 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • It would really depend on the situition. I would like to say everything, but in reality it would depend on what happened and how my husband handled the situition.

    Answer by MamaSanders at 11:05 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • ANY kind of relationship physical or emotional with another person that threatens or comes in between your committed relationship with your significant other.

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 12:22 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Anything he feels he has to hide from me

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 1:56 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Good answer Butter.... But there are some men that would do a lot in front of others.

    Comment by 35yoamom (original poster) at 11:05 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Yes and maybe, maybe not Weldo about him kissing her back. Of course that's water under the bridge now. He could have stopped her from kissing him, if he wanted to. I just saw him on FB and he sent me a message stating that he was happy to see me happy marriage with children.He went on to state that he married a woman but she cheated on him for 3 years. So he claims that he now understands how I must have felt when I THOUGHT that he had cheated on me. He explained that he was sorry. ..... WHATEVER... He did other shady things too. Where it could have gone either way... This was just the last straw.

    Oh he explained to get back at his wife he decided to cheat on her. I did speak with his mother who stated that her husband had recently cheated on her. So... its a pattern.

    Comment by 35yoamom (original poster) at 11:13 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • He shouldn't be touching ANY OTHER woman in a comforting/physical way. MAYBE a shake on the hand....maybe a HUG goodbye if they are family friends (& of course its in front of you) As soon as you allow one behavior it could lead to another

    Answer by CayShek at 11:52 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Anything that he thinks he has to hide from me is cheating.

    Answer by LiLJeni at 3:23 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I agree with the others... if he has to hide it or lie... he cheated

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 4:53 PM on Nov. 3, 2010