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Holiday traditions with the family

My family used to be so close and tight-knit, we would have thanksgiving at one aunt's house, christmas eve at my grandmas, and christmas day at my cousins. Then my grandma passed away, and all the holiday traditions started fading. Now, 10 years after my grandma has died and my one aunt died 4 years ago, our family doesn't even talk anymore! It's so hurtful that we used to have these lovely annual traditions and would make me look forward to the holidays. Now I just see it as another day and can't wait to get thru it. And now that I have kids of my own, I would like to have a family tradition again - but it looks like it's only going to be "us" - anyone else experience this problem after the loss of a loved one?

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Asked by SweetPieMama24 at 11:25 AM on Nov. 3, 2010 in Holidays

Level 15 (2,066 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Yes. After my grandmother died about 9 years ago at thanksgiving the holidays have become hard for us. I still try do the traditional Thanksgiving dinner like she did with the same deserts, but it just isn't the same. My mom has a hard time with this. Since my DD was born I am trying very hard to build new traditions. I have my family over and we eat between noon and 1 and then my SO and our DD go to his Mom's for actual dinner between 5 and 6. I am trying desperately to make new traditions that will be strong for my entire family to remember.

    Answer by coala at 11:29 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I so know how you feel. The same has happened with out family. After my Grandmother's passing, the big family holidays just fell away. Then my dad passed and holidays aren't the same with my family. Sometimes I feel as our whole family is falling apart. My dh family have all moved to the other side of the country so this will be a even harder year without them to share the holidays. I feel bad for my children because they will never know the big family holidays. I do try to make our own traditions like the Thanksgiving night hockey game ( more for the boys and dh than me lol) , going to see Christmas lights and drinking hot chocolate, baking favorite goodies for them, and spending more time with them. My dh is big on Christmas so I will still decorate the house up and maybe just invite some friends over to enjoy it with us.

    Answer by Alamama at 11:32 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I agree - the past few years, yes have been hard without those annual traditions - but like I said, now I have a son and a daughter on the way and I want them to know what the holidays are about and the traditions were the best thing. I guess the second best thing I can give them is a nice meal with our own traditions starting. It's just said that our whole family doesn't even speak anymore everyone's too busy or whatnot.

    Comment by SweetPieMama24 (original poster) at 11:33 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • My kids have never known the big family gatherings either. DH is military, and we spent 5 years overseas, and now 5 years in Washington state. Our families are from TX, and we can not afford to fly the 5 of us home for the holidays. We just can't with all the debt that is incurred with a visit home. But we have made some wonderful family traditions that are our own, and my kids love the holidays. We all decorate the house the week of Thanksgiving. Then the week after Thanksgiving we go to the Christmas tree farm and cut down our own tree and have apple cider and hot cocoa. Then the next day we decorate the tree and watch holiday movies. We bake a lot, we go to a 19th Century Christmas reenactment, we have family game nights. Christmas eve is our big dinner and we go to the candlelight service at church. Christmas day we make cinnamon rolls for early breakfast and spend the whole day together.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 3:40 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

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