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Is it illegal to take my children to another state?

I am currently with my husband who has been very emotionally abusive. When the children were born, he was not listed on the birth certificate because we were not married at that time and though we are married now and have been for two years, he is still not listed on the certificate. Just recently he has been touching me where I don't want to be touched and even pushing himself on me while I am sleeping; claiming he is also "asleep" when he does this. I am very uncomfortable in being with him and though I know he would never do anything to hurt the children, I fear for my own safety. He knows I want to leave, but claims it is illegal for me to do so. Is it illegal to take my children to family in another state?

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Asked by Momof2tolove at 11:54 AM on Nov. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • I don't think so. He is really not their legal guarden on paper so there should not be a problem. Run, girly Run... :)

    Good luck!!!!

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:57 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I'm not sure. Call a good family lawyer. They will be able to help. Don't just allow him to bully you.

    Answer by TARARENEE at 11:59 AM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Your safety and the safety of those children are the first concern. He can not prove he is the father so run girl run. I was abused and trust me I ran, I took my son I didn't really think (hey is it legal for me to take him, I just did it) I crossed state lines and all that happened was I had to file for divorce where the now ex lived. Oh yeah I got full custody of son the ex's rights were terminated.

    Answer by gratefulangel77 at 12:03 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • i strongly encourage you to call 1 800 799 SAFE. they will patch you through to a domestic violence agency in your town and they will be able to help you leave safely and legally. if you simply pick up and leave he can sue and demand paternity test in which case it will force  you to return to your current state or live in hiding.  a domestic violence agency will know your local laws and how you need to go about leaving so you and your children are legally protected and physically safe. if you are strong enough to survive what you've gone through so far, you are strong enough and smart enough to leave safely.  i applaud your strength in making this decision. best of luck to you.


    Answer by rfurlongg at 12:04 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • He's not on the birth certificate and custody isn't established.... so no

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 12:05 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Each state is different. You need to find out before you make any rash decisions that may cause more problems for you in the future. Follow the previous posters suggestion and get information that is correct for your state and your situation. Good luck.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 12:09 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • If he goes to the court and tells them you ran off with his children, then you can be arressted for kidnapping. He is biologically the father whether he is listed on the certificate or not. They will do a Paternity test and you will be forced to give your kids DNA to match. Once he is declared the father he will have all of his legal rights to those children. You can be arressted for kidnapping if he decides to file against you. Even though you are their biological parent, you can still be charged with kidnapping if he so decides to place charges against you.

    Now, your better option is to go to the court and file a claim against him as a emotional and potentionally sexual abuser. Get a lawyer (even if court appointed) and get your legal rights in place. Meaning legal custody of the children and a divorce. That is the smartest step to take. If you need to, then get a restraining order against him first.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:19 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • If you dont have a court ordered arraingment then I think your good. I mean if hes not on the birth certificates and dna tests done he cant prove his paternity for all the state knows you lied to him....

    Answer by Finkette at 12:38 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • now is the only time you can move because there is no legal papers in court...then once you settle file in court (I think you have to wait 90 days after you move to establish residence in that state)

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 2:03 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • No you can not be arrested for kidknapping unless there is a legal filing in court for custody!

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 2:04 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

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