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2 Bumps

How long should I go? Another update on the 3 mo old baby and her mama.

Things are really going well for Tiffany and her baby now that DH is still in jail. Tif got an apartment for herself and her baby and they moved in on Monday. They'd stayed at my house Thurs - Sun night. I told Tif not to worry about paying me right now for watching the baby. We will work that all out down the line. I don't want the idea of a "free babysitter" with DH be a reason she goes back to this guy. He's a really scary creep. (For those who don't know - he hit his 3 yr old stepson in the face at point blank range with a paint ball gun and would beat Tif with a baseball bat!) I am not really looking to be paid yet, I mean it wouldn't hurt of course, but I am NOT going to pressure her until she really has her feet on the ground. She's getting more hours at work and will be doing well soon, but when should I start having her pay me for babysitting? I am thinking the paycheck after she pays rent for December...


Asked by Babylove76 at 12:12 PM on Nov. 3, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • I think that if your watching the baby this much then $100 a wk to start off is good...child care for a child his age is about $250 a wk here in Florida...

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 1:24 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • and she NEEDS to take her husband to child support and get the state to help her...they will help her with child care even if it is to a privet babysitter...have her look into that...

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 1:25 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I would find out exactly what her total take home is first and make sure her bills are covered for her and her child, also I agree she needs to apply for Child Support regardless of him being in jail. Then work out a payment plan from what is left after her babies needs are met! Then she can have diapers and such until Child Support kicks in then you can raise it! =)

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 1:42 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • You are a saint for this girl and her children...I commend you for being her strength!


    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 12:42 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • sounds good. She could also attempt to go into DHS. Some states have a childcare program that pays for your childcare. She would have a copay of course. Years ago when I had it I paid $63 copay per month and the state picked up the rest. I wish her the best of luck =)

    Answer by Caoimhe_Oona at 12:15 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • She's thought about the daycare assistance through DHS, but with all the stuff this poor little baby has been through she and I both agree that she needs stability in whatever area she can get it and right now, the baby is really used to being with me. She just started to calm down having been in my home, which I am pretty strict on keeping low key and stress free anyway and then Tif got the apt so they moved in there on Monday - so it's a new place again for the baby. But I have the baby again today and it looks like the schedule will be four day weekends that Tif works, so she and I agreed that with gas prices, and stability issues for the baby and the long hours (12) Tif will be working Fri - Mon that I will keep the baby for those days and nights and Tif will have her Tues - Fri (day) until she goes in at noon.

    Comment by Babylove76 (original poster) at 12:34 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • How many hours are you watching the child...from what time to what time...what days...

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 12:44 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I will be getting her around 11am on Fridays and keeping her until about 8 - 9 am on Tuesdays for now through probably the first or 2nd week in Jan when things slow down. She works at walmart and just bumped her hours to 40+ a week and then in about 2 weeks it will be about 60 hours per week. Maybe more.

    She has been talking about paying me already this next paycheck - on 11.11.10 - and I won't turn down the $ if she does, I just want to know when it sounds reasonable that she SHOULD be paying me. She now has all the bills to take care of herself and I am not out any money - she pays for gas and provides all the formula, diapers, wipes, etc.

    Comment by Babylove76 (original poster) at 12:48 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Thank you 4_28_bbboy - I just want to be a blessing and show this girl God's love. She is the same age as DH's oldest dd that he signed over for adoption when she was 7 yrs old to her step dad, so if she were in this position and really working hard to get on with her life after leaving her abusive DH, we sincerely hope that someone would help her.

    I am so proud of Tif for working so hard right away - not once feeling sorry for herself, but embracing a whole new life for her and her kids. DHS told her that if she continues as she has been this past week, she could be getting her 3 yr old son back in January instead of waiting until May! She has a lot she's working for - so she really deserves the encouragement and help. She's not taking advantage of me - she's always asking how she can help me too!

    Comment by Babylove76 (original poster) at 12:53 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • i think that she needs to pay for your time asap...NOT TO BE MEAN OR RUDE BUT...even if it a little at fist because NOTHING in this world is free...and to make someones live so easy is more hurting then helping...thats what i think and how i see things...

    you need to show her that life is so had and she was blinded by her man for so long...she now is in the new and to teach her it will take tough love...have her struggle to see that she CAN do it...

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 12:54 PM on Nov. 3, 2010