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18 year old step son

what 2 do my step son lives with us and he is hardly here only 2 sleep when he does come home he just throws his stuff everywhere and then leaves he's been told time and time again 2 pick his stuff up that the living room isn't his bedroom but doesn't listen 2 me or his dad what 2 do should we suggest another place 2 live or start charging rent

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Asked by colts118p at 10:04 PM on Oct. 31, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (7)
  • both. My mom would throw my stuff in the garbage if I left it in her living room. True story. That only happened once and I never left my stuff there again. I put it in my room. He needs to learn responsibility. He needs to pay rent and if he doesn't abide by the rules he needs to find somewhere else to store his belongings. It's just a part of life. We get nothing in life for free.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:52 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • i'm a tough person, so this might only work for some, but i'd throw all of that junk on the side of the house with the trash bins and when he asks where his stuff is, direct him to the bins and tell him he'd better hurry because garbarge day is monday. this is your house and you need to stand up and let him know that you mean "move your stuff" when you say it.

    rent will help you out, but know that he may think that because he's paying you, he can unload his stuff wherever he wants in his "paid for" room or space.

    good luck and be strong, you dont deserve to be walked on...

    Answer by madismummy at 10:53 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • That's 18 year old boys to me. Drive ya nuts.

    Answer by njt320 at 10:29 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • Tell him he has 30 day notice to get the hell out...I would take everything he throws all over the house and put it in garbage bags and hide it...When he asked about his stuff..tell him he will get it back when he moves out..


    Answer by louise2 at 5:25 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • does he get an allowence my mom would take money away if i left stuff out and tape record him and show him the tapes and maybe hell change

    Answer by Patience1 at 3:36 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • I had one of these! VERY Difficult! Tell him is his things are not picked up they will be thrown away, and then follow though. Set a curfew and a few chores, he needs to earn his keep, if he does his chores reward him, if not distroy! LOL! You probly pay his car insurance-STOP. You surly feed him Lock the panty and frig! Set a move out date. 2mo after graduation ect... If he refuses chores make him get a job and save 90% towards an apparment or college. YOU HAVE TO BE TOUGH! Do not stop loving him or treating him like an outsider and make sure he knows you love him, but you would not except this from your bio-children. Most of all Talk to him, and keep communication very open. He may not talk to you but he will hear you if you try and some day he will appriciate it. Mine does, hes 21. Good Luck!

    Answer by Teraesa at 10:54 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • His father should be dealing with him. Talk to your husband. Tell him he needs to deal with it. If he's fine with the way things are then let it go. It's his child.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:25 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

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