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3 Bumps

How do you deal with rejection from your spouse?

You're trying to be spontaneous and sexy and he shoots you down with an excuse. Whether it's valid or not.. how do you deal with it?

Answer Question
 
mz_erica03

Asked by mz_erica03 at 12:48 PM on Nov. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,499 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Hasn't happened...
    But if it did... I'd be extremely hurt and probably ticked off. I suppose the proper response would be to tell him to let me know later when he is ready. But since I'm really emotional I'd probably sulk and reject him for the next couple days.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:52 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Ugh, been through that. DH is on his own, now, I don't initiate. He wishes I would. I let him know it's impossible for me when I feel undesirable to him. Tough luck, dude. But of course, there's lots more going on, including me feeling unattractive to him on a daily basis. For the first couple years of our marriage I was in agony, thinking I really had become unattractive. Then I started realizing it was more his issue, but it was still hard for me to feel good about myself as long as he didn't affirm me. Four years and counting and I can finally stand up and say, "Look at women your age, man, you're lucky to be with me." Haha! I got so sick of it, I took a little vacation from sex and started doing what made me happy: spending time with my family. That got his attention. I told him he needed to talk to someone about our issues. He actually has, and now he's reading marriage books (unbelievable!). Hold onto your dignity, mama!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • It has never happened to me with my DH, but if it did, I would imagine I'd be really hurt and upset. And as vocal as I am, I would let him know that it hurt my feelings. And then I would probably proceed to reject him for a few days to let him know how it feels. But I can't really say how I'd feel or what I'd do for sure until I'm put in that situation.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 12:58 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Thanks Anon :-)
    It's not a big issue. It's just that sometimes I suggest something spontaneous and I'll get.. "But the kids are in the next room." or "I'm very very tired tonight." I know I need to address this to him. But may I suggest to your DH to read Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman? Hey.. while he's at it, right? lol
    mz_erica03

    Comment by mz_erica03 (original poster) at 12:59 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • LOL this happened last night to me...I was like okay with it because he was very exhausted but I was thinking in the back of my mind:
    "You wait because I will deny you the next time you want it!"
    but I would never do it LOL
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 1:37 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • This happens to me all the time. At first I was really mad at him and now I don't even ask him.
    Curtsmom

    Answer by Curtsmom at 1:39 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • he does this to me every night. so i take his responses like forget you then!! ugggg he can be such an ass sometimes
    americanadian25

    Answer by americanadian25 at 1:41 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • no biggie since it rarely happens.
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 1:54 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • It doesn't happen often but it does sometimes. I used to get really hurt and rejected and insecure about it, but I am confident that our love is strong and so is his passion for me even if he's not always in the mood.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:22 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • i feel rejected and not good it makes me not even want to try anymore even though the reasons are legit but i dont quit trying because if i did i would never be satisfied again!!
    19withtwins

    Answer by 19withtwins at 8:57 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

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