Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why do people feel they are entitled to someone elses family member?

Am I alone? I believe all family members should have first rights to a newborn that the natural mother does not wish to parent. I believe the system is messed up. I am on a mission to change this. I pray this issue hits ballots four years from today..my goal. I can pass a home study. The father notification is usually placed in unread newspapers and other non interesting places and they call this legal. I call it infant theft.

Answer Question
 
Kidsmamabear

Asked by Kidsmamabear at 10:26 PM on Oct. 31, 2008 in Adoption

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (45)
  • I understand your point but I think that if the mother thought that a family member was the best choice she would of picked them maybe
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • also what about the "family members" that are no where to be found while the woman is trying to handle it? If they wanted to be part of the child's life, they should have been there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • what about underage teens whose family members coerce her to place the baby for adoption?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • yeah the family that shits on her for having a baby and than gets told take it you will get a check from the state to help and than they jump for joy and want the baby
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • In my opinion, if the mother wants to put the child up for adoption, then, she should be able to. If the father of the baby wants the child and the mother wants to put the child up for adoption, then he should be given custody (and, frankly, the mother should have to pay child support, just like a man who didn't want anything to do with his child should have to pay the mom if she had custody).

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:49 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • cont

    As far as anyone beyond the birth mother and father (meaning grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc), then, honestly, it should be up to the birth parents to decide - NOT the State. After all, you wouldn't say "even though I think you are a better pet owner, the law says I have to give my dog to my sister, because she's family" - because the owner has the right to do what they feel is best for their pet. And isn't a child MUCH more important than a dog? Shouldn't parents be able to decide what's best for their child, whether it's themselves, a family member, or someone else?
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:49 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • cont

    However, for clarification, I do support Father's rights fully!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:51 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • Adoption is a hard choice for someone to make. They are giving up a piece of themselves. I think it would be easier to deal with if I didn't have a constant reminder every time I went to a family function. I'd like to think about the child in private when I didn't have to deal with family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Oct. 31, 2008

  • I, personally, would be really uncomfortable being forced to give my child to a relative. What if this baby is the produce of rape and that's why I chose adoption? Can you imagine how horrible it would be to have to see this child (that you decided to give up, for whatever reason) at least a few times a year? This child would know why "Auntie" doesn't play with them, and it would really hurt that child. Wouldn't it be better, mental health-wise, to have the child place with someone outside the family? Then, if the child decides to find their birth mother she can say "It's not that I didn't want you but I was raped and decided that I'd give you the best life I could by placing you for adoption. I was afraid that all I'd see was the rape whenever I looked at you."

    It's not as simple as you are trying to make it.
    jms124

    Answer by jms124 at 12:06 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • It's the biological parents' decision on if they want a family member to adopt their child. It's not that the AParents feel they are entitled to someone else's family member...it's the BParents that are making that choice for whatever reason they have.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 12:12 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN