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How do you discipline your 9-12 year olds?

I am a SAHM of a 9 y/o girl and a 10 y/o boy. Lately they seem to be in trouble for one thing or another all the time. My husband and I have tried grounding them for a set amount of time, taking things like video games away, and even spanking but nothing seems to be working.

 
njssreese

Asked by njssreese at 2:32 PM on Nov. 3, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • We take away his PS3 privileges
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:33 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • It depends on what it is for. What kinds of things are they doing?
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 2:34 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Take away thier favorite thing to do. also make them write a paragraph about thier mistake.
    peace013

    Answer by peace013 at 2:34 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • It takes time. Be consistent. Assigning work with me or their dad seems to help....keeping them very busy...I like working together because it helps develop a relationship of trust so that if anything is going on hopefully you can talk......I didn't do this very well with my first child, and kind of late with my 2nd. (my kids were spaced pretty far apart).....my 3rd child I am better at this (he is 10), and it seems to be going fairly well....
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 2:41 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • No TV time, No computer time, No cell phone, No Telephone, No time after school or on the weekends with friends. No game system time, no handheld game systems. Stop spanking.
    Clear out their bedrooms of everything except the bed, dresser (with clothes you have selected that they wear), and a lamp for reading.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 2:52 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • We take away privileges and/or assign penalties that are related to what they did wrong. If they do something that costs me in time or money, I assign them heavy-duty chores to pay me back. Sometimes we will ask them to write an essay about what they did wrong and/or should have done differently and/or the impacts of their behavior. If they make me repeat myself more than once about little stuff, I make them write sentences ala Bart Simpson and explain that since they seem to need repetition on this issue and I am tired of repeating myself, they get however many sentences.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:58 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I agree with another mom about keeping them busy too. My 10 yo DD comes up with a lot of bad ideas and will get herself in trouble a lot if left to her own devices. We put the kids on a schedule this year, which was actually more to make sure that things like homework and toothbrushing were happening on a schedule so they weren't getting overlooked, but it has really helped out a lot with her behavior to have her on a schedule where she has something she is supposed to be doing. Free time is trouble time for her.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 4:01 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I have a 9 yo dd and a 10 yo ds too. We take away tv and computer time for serious offenses. At times, they've also had to go to bed earlier than normal time.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 4:12 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I think at 9 yrs. old spanking them will yield little results. I remember when I was nine and got into trouble my mother gave me a
    very sound spanking with her hairbrush and even though my bottom was sore and I had a bit of trouble sitting for a few days
    I went right back to my old habits. Spanking has its limitations as a corrective tool. I think you should try to contact some of your kids friends parents and start a dialogue and perhaps find out the reasons for their behavior. It may be that it's only one particular friend who's causing alot of the problems. Good Luck
    spinnet

    Answer by spinnet at 5:52 PM on Nov. 3, 2010