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What would you do or say??

Ok I am staying with my mom while she is in chemo she starts soon. My mom has 5 kids (including me) living with her along with my dad, who is mentally a child due to 5 strokes, well we got a call last night saying my 16 yr old brother got arrested (again this is far from the first time) and he is getting charged with 2 felonies. I am trying to be here for her but I dont know what to say or anything what would you say to try and help her out if you were in my shoes??

 
LiLJeni

Asked by LiLJeni at 3:07 PM on Nov. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 30 (44,491 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Tell her it is not her fault. It's not. At that age, regardless of the blows life has dealt, he is fully responsible for his actions. He needs to face the consequences. She could not have failed him all that much if she produced a daughter like you. Obviously, she has been a busy mother of a lot of kids - I know the drill and feel her pain! You will never be the mother at least ONE of your kids thought you should be - kids see things so differently in their myopic worlds. If your mum needs anything, it's to be reaffirmed that her kids actions and attitude are NOT her fault. She taught - learning is a burden of the children. Let him go the way he chose - painful tho it may be to watch - he knows what he's doing. She needs to think about her self and her health now, because she has kids who still need her. Be that word of encouragement and affirmation that she needs now.Coming from a daughter, it will mean the world.
    mommyx9

    Answer by mommyx9 at 5:32 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Wow.. your brother definitely needs to grow the hell up! Personally I would just be there for her.. just be there.. thats' all you can do.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 3:08 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • You just have to be strong for her! I know that has to be such a tough situation for you. I would try to keep the brothers problems as low key as possible so your mother can deal with the chemo the best that she can. Hugs for you and your family.
    fireeyes81

    Answer by fireeyes81 at 3:11 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I would sit my brother down and have a serious talk with him. This is probably his twisted way of dealing with his sick parents. (((HUGS)))
    mz_erica03

    Answer by mz_erica03 at 3:15 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Your brother has to learn from his mistakes.Just take care of your sick mom.The rest will work itself out.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 3:20 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • My brother doesnt care and hasnt for a very long time. To him everything is my mothers fault and he just doesnt care about her at all. And that serious talk thing just doesnt work with him either, I have already tried that, last time he got arrested.
    LiLJeni

    Comment by LiLJeni (original poster) at 3:25 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Let him deal with the consequences of his own actions and you deal with helping your mom with her health. Sounds like it's about time he started to grow up.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 3:49 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Just let her know that if there is anything you can do for her to not hesistate to ask. Also small acts of kindness go a long way. And just talking to her about it or getting her mind off of it helps too.
    Shanti0327

    Answer by Shanti0327 at 4:02 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • BE THERE FOR HER. im sorry about everything going on :( this all must be overwhelming
    hotmama83227

    Answer by hotmama83227 at 4:36 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Be there for your mother... cancer can grow off of stress, ask her what you can do to help and try to do the things she wouldn't ask for, and kick your brother's A$$!
    VanessaMomof2

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 4:42 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

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