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How would you handle this?

I was babysitting a 6 year old girl, who was playing with my 10 year old son....they were playing dress-up with some old prom dresses that belonged to my daughters....they both came upstairs dressed in dresses to show me....the little girl asked me why my son likes to dress like a girl....I said, he just likes to, don't you like to do some things that boys do? She said, no. (which is not true. she can be quite the tomboy). Then she told me that my son was weird. I told her that wasn't nice. We don't call people weird, and then they went off to play. When out of my hearing, she called him weird again, and he threatened to tell on her, so she backed off... There is a possibility her parents may get upset and come talk to me....how would you have handled this? And handle it IF the parents get upset....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Nov. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • I think you handled it well and if the parents call you can address them honestly in the way that you have stated your case and your opinions here. Their child was in the wrong for name calling after you had told her not to. I think we need to let our children be who they are and not force grown up impressions onto innocent children. I don't see anything in the situation that should give the girl's parents concern and if they find something you might have to consider whether she is a good playmate for your son. Good luck.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:34 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I think you handled it well, and if the parents have a problem I am sure your wit will kick in and handle that well too.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:18 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I think you were right in telling her it's wrong to call people wierd, especially with something as normal as a boy playing dress-up. I guess if the parents call you just explain the situation and that you didn't appreciate her calling your son wierd. Every family is different with beliefes and views and her family may be one that really sticks with that gender stereotyping thing. You know, boys play with trucks girls play with dolls. Boys don't cry and girls don't hit
    punkomama08

    Answer by punkomama08 at 3:14 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • "I am sorry. But I think it is weird for a 10 year old boy to be playing dress up ( putting on girl cloths). The 6 yo girl is right, IMO. I would think he is either gay or a potential cross dresser."

    So much is wrong with this it's hard to know where to begin.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:19 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Are they the conservative type? Are they open to different ideas?

    Your son is at the age where he's able to pick and choose what he wants to wear. I'd bring up to the parents (if they talk to you) that it goes both ways. If their little girl is going to tease your son about the way he likes to pretend and play, then he's going to tease her for being a tomboy. The little girl should really get over it and she can, with the help of her parents.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 3:13 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I think you handled it just fine and you should tell the parents exactly what you wrote here. Sometimes boys like to play dress up too and then that stops. They usually go to doing all the so called "boy things" and forget all about the clothes. I think the bigger problem than your son playing dress up is the girl being told not to name call, then the second she is out of your sight calls your son the name she was just told not to. Sounds like a prelude to bullying.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 3:22 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Wow anon!!!
    Anyway momma, I agree with the other ladies that you handled it well. So what if he likes to try on dresses, that's just what he likes. Society is always so busy with what a girl/boy is suppose to do or not do. I agree in that you should handle the situation the same with the girl's parents and at least hear them out if they have any concerns, your son is not harming anyone. good luck.
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 3:31 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • i would spin it like this = we use nice words so that everyone can have a happy day - calling ppl weird isnt nice and isnt allowed - all the children are expected to follow al the rules all the time... she was only verbally corrected but if the issue continues i will make her do writing assignments about using mean words (and add - this protects her too)
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:41 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I think you handled it quite well :-)
    mz_erica03

    Answer by mz_erica03 at 3:45 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • He was playing with a 6 year old girl, of course he will dress up, thats probably what she wanted to do, so he may have gone along with it. You can say her dd was being mean to your ds, and of course your going to say something, most parents would be understanding of that.
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 4:05 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

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