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3 Bumps

I have a serious question I just need some positive input on what to do please no bashing:)

I have been having serious issue w dh for the past 2 months and these are anger issues 1st it starts off as we had to move in with his brother cuz we had no money and no place to go I became angry because he refused to find a place and settle on it..Once we finally did find a place everything cooled a bit for a few weeks but now he's started making me really angry again see in the past we had payday loans well we paid them off well he promised no more..Since then he's gotten 3 more and we owe more than we have..It's just one thing after another he's irresponsible and needs to grow up..I don't approve of these loans never have but he just gets them whether I like it or not. Well now we can't pay any bills we're in jeopardy of losing our vehicles and being sued by a bunch of places because we can't pay..so he tells me I have to work you figure out how to get money that p.o'dd me right there he got us in this he can get us out..

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chica679

Asked by chica679 at 5:10 PM on Nov. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,792 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I am sorry to heart that. But I agree with you. Never make more deps that you can afford. Hopefully he will realize this now and hopefully you guys can get out of this mess.
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 5:13 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • You should sit down with him and have a serious conversation. You should really try and comunicate that this is a major issue that you need to resolve. I hope everything works out well for you, good luck.
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 5:13 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • it just is one thing after another with him..I've gotten so sick and tired of it cuz it's over and over w those stupid check places...How can I get my name off of them? He's put my name as a contact and on the loans so if ever he couldn't pay I could which I never wanted..How do I leave him and be able to do it on my own I'm so frightened of what's going to happen.. If I'm going to be stuck with all the debt and if they'll come after me and my check If I were to leave w the kids an I'd be left w nothing to go on I think that's what makes me afraid to leave I've never done it on my own raising kids
    chica679

    Comment by chica679 (original poster) at 5:14 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • problem is he don't listen and don't want to
    chica679

    Comment by chica679 (original poster) at 5:14 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Marriage should be a partnership. That mean he should be consulting with you before doing anything and that also mean if you're in a financial bind you should get a job and pitch in.
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 5:15 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • *means
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 5:16 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I had a job and all my money went to pay his freakin' payday loans and he also didn't take care of the kids or do anything he needed to do when I was at work nothing got done so I feel like he didn't appreciate me working so I quit
    chica679

    Comment by chica679 (original poster) at 5:17 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • well if he doesnt wanna listen theres no way really. If you do want to leave him its maybe best. hes only gonna run you guys deeper and deeper into dept. Can he even legally put you name on contracts and loan without you consent? I dont think so. Even when you are married he cant just do that. You could sue him.
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 5:18 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Yep, I'd be angry, too. You're a SAHM? Is your name on these loans? Do you have a joint account?

    This is what I would do: since he has already proved he does not consider you a partner or respect your input, then trying to reason with him or getting angry at him is futile. It's time to start looking at what it would take to separate from him. I know that's hard to consider, especially if you're a SAHM, but I would let him know that if you get a job, it's going to be to support yourself and a separation. Separating doesn't necessarily mean you end your marriage. It may be what saves your marriage. You give him the clear message, "I will not live my life this way. I will make healthy choices for myself and my children, and it's up to you what you're going to do about it." He can decide how important it is to him to keep you. Be strong and don't battle with him. Draw your line, and be true to your dignity. Courage, mama!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 5:20 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • It just angers me for the last time he's made it so we can't even buy ds a gift for his birthday it's messed up he only has 2 left to pay but then he thinks he needs another to pay whatever else and he's so proud he won't ask a friend or family memeber to help him out or even a church..it's all him I never wanted these loans and constantly said no to him..he keeps getting them it's almost like it's an addiction for him and it never stops so Idk why I should work to pay for his mistakes
    chica679

    Comment by chica679 (original poster) at 5:21 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

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