Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

another child-- wwyd?

been with SO for 2.5 years.. I'm ready for another child. DS is 5- not SO's.. i'm financially stable and can afford a child on my own ($25/hr income-- possible raise soon! yay! lol). No child support from DS's bio-dad. but SO doesnt want a child right now- not ready, wants to "finish" school (he'll be going to college in March 2011). i'm 22, he's 24 (will be 25 in March). with SO's rate, DS will be 9 or 10 before the IDEA of having another child... i'd like them somewhat close... i mean, 6 years isnt close- but i waited until i'm fully stable before the thinking of having a child.. SO wants to wait til he's stable, I guess...

WWYD though? i'd really like to have a child by late 2011, or early 2012. i dont want this to be the "break up" of us-- but i dont think he'll compromise with me.

i do have money saved up-- can either go for a 3 bedroom home (downpayment) or towards the future baby- on my own.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on Nov. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • From personal experience, I would say let him finish school before having another child. My husband and I were both in school and it is so hard to manage your time when you are cramming for tests and completing assignments everyday, and all you want to do is spend time with your baby. They are only little for a short time, and maybe he feels he won't get as much special time because of the commitment to school work. Also, when you are overwhelmed with school work and your baby is crying for attention, it's easy to get frustrated with them, which isn't fair to baby. I know when you're ready to have another baby it's hard to put it off for an extended period of time, but his request is to wait until he's done with school, and I think that's a smart choice.

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 9:07 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • if you love him and he loves you i am sure u can find some common ground but rushing him into having a child when he isn't ready isn't such a good idea for your relationship and being a single mom is a lot harder than it looks

    Answer by nandy90 at 9:08 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • Let him finish school. The hardest thing is trying to finish school while sleep deprived. I am doin that right now. In grad school.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 10:27 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • You're 22, you have plenty of time to have another baby. I know you want your kids close, but 6 years isn't close at all. Pushing the issue on your SO isn't going to help your relationship, and honeslty, I would recommend getting married before you bring any children into the relationshp.

    Answer by Journey311 at 3:11 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.