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13 Bumps

Why do some parents insist that "all teens are going to drink and smoke and have sex"?

I was in college myself before I did any of that and my kids who are already teens are pretty much the same, concentrating on sports and school and other activities like that. Perhaps it's mainly the kids whose parents are supporting it who are actually the ones doing it.


Asked by ceallaigh at 10:04 PM on Nov. 3, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 24 (19,921 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (36)
  • I don't know why they say that either because it is not the normal way....I never did and my 3 kids didn't either. It was just not done. My kids were too busy with school,grades, friends, being home with us like a regular normal family to even want to start acting like an adult. There is no way any of us wanted to grow up that fast. Plus, even though there is birth control, it doesn't always work and nobody wanted to get pregnant. A parent who assumes that their teens are going to drink smoke and have sex is certainly not being a positive role model and has a crummy outlook on life and teens.

    Answer by kerp1960 at 10:14 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I don't know why they think that because it does not have to happen that way. My husband and I raised three children--2 boys and a girl--and none of them did any of those things, not even when they were in college. We were very involved parents even when they were in college. Today, we have wonderful relationships with all three of them and their families. and we are very thankful for the way they have turned out. I do think that many of today's parents are not willing to invest the time and effort that it takes to teach their children that they don't have to participate in all that kind of stuff.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:01 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • That's what I'm getting at! So it's ok to just let them. That crappy attitude is what makes kids think it's okay to do. I'm not saying drinking and sex are bad, but kids aren't always ready for those situations even though they are doing them. My husband was a virgin until he was 20. I was not, but I look back now and wish I had waited. There is a reason there are laws about these things.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:11 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • The following are some statistics regarding teenage drug and alcohol abuse:
    -Underage drinking costs the United States more than $58 billion every year.
    -40 percent of those who started drinking at age 13 or younger developed alcohol dependence later in life. Ten percent of teens who began drinking after the age of 17 developed dependence.
    -Ten percent of teens report that they have attended a rave, and ecstasy and other drugs were available at more than two-thirds of these raves.
    -Teens that drink are 50 times more likely to use cocaine than teens who never consume alcohol.
    -63 percent of the youth who drink alcohol say that they initially got the alcohol from their own or their friend’s homes.
    -Alcohol kills 6 ½ times more teenagers than all other illicit drugs combined.
    -Teenagers whose parents talk to them on a regular basis about the dangers of drug use are 42 percent less likely to use drugs

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 11:06 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • yes, they are probably saying that because that is what their experience was. but i was like you and i was in college (although technically i suppose you're still a teen the first couple of years lol).

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 10:06 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I say they probably are, HOWEVER, I wouldn't be the one letting them or making it SUPER easy for them.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:12 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I guess because they did that when they were teens? I don't know. I didn't do any of that. I've seen parents say they let their kids drink at home so they won't do it elsewhere. Of course the kids admitted they drank at their friends houses, and coming home drunk way after curfew was a dead giveaway. Then there were the multiple pregnancy scares and finding drugs in their bedrooms. Just from what I've seen of the situation, if the teens are told "I know you're going to do it so just be careful" they hear "do whatever you want since you will anyway." It might not be that way with all of the kids who do this but again, that is what I've seen.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:41 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • I don't think "all" teens do this. My husband didn't do any of that until college and I started very, very young. I was always responsible. I had sex with steady boyfriends, always with a condom and the pill. I never drove while I was drunk or let anyone else drive drunk. I started smoking at 13 which is the only thing I regret. My parents probably knew because they aren't stupid. They let me smoke in the house. They got me birth control. They never let me drink, but if they found out I was, punishments were enough to make you think (i.e. bleaching the bathroom on a hangover). But if they found out I was driving or doing somthing stupid it would've been game over. I dropped out of high school twice, but still graduated on time. I got into heavier drugs after high school. But straightened up right when I turned 21.

    Some kids just need to go through that early or they go to college and go wild without supervision.

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 10:44 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • •Nearly half (46%) of all 15–19-year-olds in the United States have had sex at least once.[1]
    •By age 15, only 13% of never-married teens have ever had sex. However, by the time they reach age 19, seven in 10 never-married teens have engaged in sexual intercourse.[1]
    •Most young people have sex for the first time at about age 17, but they do not marry until their middle or late 20s. This means that young adults are at risk of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) for nearly a decade.[2]
    •Teens are waiting longer to have sex than they did in the past. Some 13% of never-married females and 15% of never-married males aged 15–19 in 2002 had had sex before age 15, compared with 19% and 21%, respectively, in 1995.[1]
    •The majority (59%) of sexually experienced teen females had a first sexual partner who was 1–3 years their senior.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 11:13 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • We cannot generalize that ALL teens have sex and do drugs because clearly by the stats I just produced not ALL are doing it but unfortunatly A LOT are. My 7yr old son came to me yesterday and told me that a drug dog found drugs in a 6th graders locker....SIXTH GRADE!! I cannot believe that I had a talk with my 7yr old son about drugs but we as parents need to educate our children and guide them in the right direction. Even the most behaved children will probably have tried pot once and even though my fiance didn't lose his virginity until he was 21, he still fooled around and got SCARY close to having sex even younger than that. Please don't say that your child would never do drugs or have sex because then you are closing your mind to seeing the warning signs or drug use. And sex should of course be taught to wait till marriage but also talk about contraceptives.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 11:17 PM on Nov. 3, 2010