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2 Bumps

Why?...Low Self-Esteem????;/

I have been blessed with two dads. My biological father has always been there for me and my step father has been in my life since I was 5 years old and they are both very caring and loving. Now most women that grow up without a father figure tend to have low self esteem. I have two and I've realized that I have a low self-esteem. I am a very attractive young lady but I have allowed the last three relationships to bring me down emotionally and I put up with it because I was afraid to lose them. I allowed them to emotionally abuse me and although I know it's not good I still end up reaching out to the guy even if I was right about the particular situation. I have to build my self-esteem because I deserve better but I just wonder how did I end up with low self-esteem when I've always had my fathers there telling me how precious and beautiful I am.

Answer Question
 
zoriah26

Asked by zoriah26 at 12:24 AM on Nov. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (3,118 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • First ask yourself, What is it that is bothering you about yourself? when you answer that question then work on it, now at least you know that your man choices arent to good, then work on that as well, love yourself before you try to love someone else. Make sure you surround yourself with nice girlfriends, the ones that give u healthy competition and nice compliments. If you rather be alone for sometime, go ahead and take it, but do not asolate yourslef completely, we all need human contact! Good luck o one more thing: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! meaning do your hair, make up, choose clothes that you likem shower, excersise and eat healthy!
    Rwive

    Answer by Rwive at 12:41 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • You need to let the guy know fist hand,that you are worth the best.That you deserve to be respected,and loved.Guys see when you have low Self-Esteem,A lot of them will take advantage of this.Have standers of what you want in a man,and don't take any less.I didn't meat my DH until I was 27 I was starting to wonder, If I would meat some that fit what I was looking for.We have been married all most 3 years.He is still everything I wanted.Keep your head up.You all ready no you are pretty,people that aren't pretty deserve to be treated good all so.Good luck and don't take anyone less.
    bucky77

    Answer by bucky77 at 3:16 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • A person's self-esteem is related to more than just father figures, it also relates to achievement, excessive criticism by authority figures, personal appearance, negative experiences and employment status. Of these, the only factor that is non-modifyable is excessive criticism; even negative experiences can have positive value in terms of learning from them. The nice thing is that these factors build on one another, for example, taking the advice of the first poster here and spending a little time on your appearance is an achievement, and it will undoubtedly result in some positive experiences such as compliments, both from others and from yourself, and it could even have an impact on your employment under some circumstances. So don't give up, you have the power to change things, one step at a time.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 6:30 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I mean no offense by this whatsoever but I did notice in your post that you mention your looks twice- as in "I'm beautiful but my past 3 relationships brought me down" and again at the end that you were told you were precious and beautiful, but you didn't really mention your other good qualities. It just stood out to me and made me wonder if maybe you are putting too much of your self-esteem thinking into your looks, or focusing too much on that instead of all of the other traits about you that make you a great woman and a great mate for someone. Does that make sense? I guess I just want to remind you that you are more than a pretty face. Are you funny, smart, caring, kind? What are all of your other good qualities that can't be seen from the outside? Self-esteem isn't just about being confidant about your appearance, it's also about being proud of who you are, what you have to offer, and knowing what you deserve.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 12:48 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

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