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how do you deal with your spouse haveing an emotional affair adult content

i caught on in aug by going online with his cell phone carrier i set up the account/account manager name on acct he just thought i was to stupid to catch on oohh but i did made copies bit my tongue off for 3 months while he lied to me finally her or me married or done since then he has not contacted her she him but he never replies how to i start to trust again

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boondocks

Asked by boondocks at 2:32 AM on Nov. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (110 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Why do you snoop through your husbands stuff to begin with....how can he trust you?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Don't listen to anonymous you have every right to look threw it husbands and wives are not supost to have any secrets from each other...You needed to know what he was doing and I have been in the same boat just listen to your heart it will tell you what to do it did me. Good luck mommy
    jessesmama22

    Answer by jessesmama22 at 3:13 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • You can start off with using punctuation in your "question." It might make it a bit easier to read and comprehend. Just a thought.
    AtHomeMommy-3

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 3:16 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Ya delete this question and ask it all over again cause this qustion really makes NO sences.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 4:00 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I don't agree with the first reply. If you had REASON to check into what he was up to, then so be it. I don't condone snooping for no reason, but it seems to me you did this in a calculated fashion because you had cause to believe he was up to something.

    It's hard to trust again because he lied about it. You may want to talk about getting counseling to find out why he felt the need to go outside of the marriage for the emotional crutch.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 10:12 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • obviously you had a reason to snoop because you caught him in the act. First off, he needs to make it clear to her that she is not to ever contact him again because every time she contacts him it is going to bring up those memories, everything needs to be put behind him so the two of you can move on. Second you need to find out why he was reaching out to some other woman in the first place and fix that issue. My guess is that you two have fallen out of love and lost the best friends in each other that you once had so you BOTH need to make an effort to be that for each other again-you need to fall back in love with one another. The memories of this other woman aren't just going to go away but the more in love with one another you fall the easier it will become to forgive.
    AshleyBishop06

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 10:32 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • ok i have been here. she was someone older that he worked with. when it all went down i just pretty much started living my own life. he was so nice to me and did whatever i wanted but i didn't want to live like that. i just decided either i forgive and move on with my life or i leave him . i decided to forgive and move on. i dont bring in up and with some arguements i just say * i really don't want to drag things out from the past so ...* and then there is an understanding. i hope that makes sense. it wasn't easy but i have 4 kids to think about. and a life i wanted to keep. he hasnt made me feel insecure since.
    cuteness13983

    Answer by cuteness13983 at 6:26 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

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