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I have a probleme and need some advice please

Ok so my fiance started screaming at me and throwing things yesterday because he wants to move to maine from Mississippi and I have lived here my whole life I told him I didn't want to go. So he started packing saying he was going to stay at his moms till he left to go to Maine and live but he came back 15 minutes later...I want to stay here where I know everyone and all my family is here. If we moved we would have no job yet or place to live and he just wants to up route my 2 boys and me and leave I don't think so but I told him I would go just to get him to shut up and stop being an ass. What should I do because he keep gripping at me saying your not packing your not trying to look online for a job or a place to stay. My question is how can I tell him i'm not going without him blowing up on me? Oh and I know when I tell him we will be over because he don't like not getting what he wants. But I can't leave my home.

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jessesmama22

Asked by jessesmama22 at 2:53 AM on Nov. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,311 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Flat out tell him, you're serious about not moving and you're not going. You're right, you can't just up and move unless you have things figured out. Place to live, job, schools for the kids, etc. It's just not going to work. You may find a job in 4 months, and that may have you on the street before that. You're comfortable where you are not. Maybe tell him once you guys find a more solid foundation there you will change your mind? (Maybe use that to buy time and see if he'll change his mind completely). It's rough starting over in a new state where you know no one. Good luck though.
    AtHomeMommy-3

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 2:58 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Does he have a reason for wanting to leave the area?
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 3:27 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • you know where the best place is to raise your boys it takes more than just parents anymore it takes a community to raise kids the more you know around you the more people you know around you the better stand your grounds your gut never guides you wrong its just if it takes a whisper or a yell
    boondocks

    Answer by boondocks at 3:35 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • You should be honest. Ask him to hear you out. but if you know it's over theres really no sense in putting yourself through this. Maybe he should go stay with his mom so he'd get the feel of not being with you and the kids. Maybe it will give him something to thing about. We can't always give in I htink this is one time you should stand your ground he isn't thinking about the kids so I'm glad you are. Some times I have to tell my hubby to get his boots and and hit the pavement especially if I know hes being unreasonable. But so far we've been able to work things out. Hope this helps!!!!!
    suelo74

    Answer by suelo74 at 3:36 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I would tell him flat out that the whole relationship isn't working at all for you. He is very disrespectful screaming at you and not having the respect enough to realize that he is wanting to take you and the boys away from your all family and the place that all your all friends are he is not taking the boys safety or even thinking that NOTHING is organized. When people move they have a job and a place to live lined up before they pack and fork. He sounds to me VERY controlling and that is a big red flag for a man to have. I think that if you really think that he isn't gonna take NO for an answer then you may want someone to come over and watch the boys for you and go out to a place where a lot people are around and then tell him that it's over and that you want nothing but the best for him. Don't be afaird to have someone stay with you if you need be men can be very unexpected. GL Momma.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:56 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • To move somewhere blindly is pretty foolish. Tell him you don't want to move, you're not going to move, and let him throw his fit. Either he can discuss this with you in an adult manner or forget it. Don't feel bullied in having to move.
    goldilocks70

    Answer by goldilocks70 at 4:21 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • If you are too afraid to tell him in person go to a safe place and call him, i wouldnt want a man blowing up at me :(
    Eveshalloween

    Answer by Eveshalloween at 5:14 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • This is not a relationship you need to be in as your spouse is not thinking of you, your family, or the well-being of any of you. I know it will be hard but you need to point out that he can't treat you like this, you have a right to have your say and your life. Get rid. Good luck (((HUGS)))
    Creating78

    Answer by Creating78 at 5:30 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I would tell him to go to his moms,because he still needs his momma,he is acting like a spoiled brat.If he gets mad because he don't get what he want then he is a brat.You can't have a relationship with a spoiled brat.Your kids come first.If he was mature he would know this WOW.I am sorry you have to go though this Guys can be ass sometimes. Good luck don't let him get you down.
    bucky77

    Answer by bucky77 at 6:03 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • he sounds like an idiot (no offense). I say let him get pissed off, let him leave, and get a better man in your kids' lives!
    lkm091

    Answer by lkm091 at 2:33 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

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