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is it okay?

I love DH but I realize that I will never have what I really want from him. That is someone who is caring and has good communication skills. Someone I completely trust with my heart. He's good to me in his own way. But he's terribly rough with my heart and doesn't seem to understand me. The love I want doesn't seem to be possible with him. Is that okay and normal for a forever love?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Nov. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Nothing is "okay" if you do not feel at ease with your own spouse. I'm sorry to hear your feeling this way. Have you tried talking to him about the way that you feel? Maybe suggest counseling or something to try and work on it?

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 10:00 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Love should never hurt. Do not settle for a "love" that doesn't feel good, you will never be happy.

    Answer by shanlaree at 10:00 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I don't think so.
    "Forever love"? If you feel this way maybe it's not love at all. And besides that, why should you settle for less? -Been there, almost married the guy. Now I'm glad I got out of it in time. In a few years time I would have jumped his throat.
    Do what makes you happy!

    Answer by BeachMom81 at 10:02 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • No, it's not ok. Sweetie, this is the man that SHOULD be doing all this for you...he's the one you married, your other half. If he can't be caring and talk to you, what do you have? Eventually, you will get tired of him treating you that way and it will make you feel like crap and there goes your self-esteem. If you haven't talked to him, do it. See if he can get to counseling if you think this will help with communication. Explain to him what your needs are and what you want to be to him and see if he's on the same page. Go from there, 'cause if he's not, then you really have to re-think the whole marriage.

    Best wishes.

    Answer by rio_burb at 10:06 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Hun, love forever is unconditional, you learn to love the person faults and all.

    Answer by older at 10:09 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I agree with the above women! myself I know exactly how u r feeling

    Answer by Billiejo22001 at 10:11 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Sorry but it's not ANYONES job to make you feel a certain way. Forever Love? Sounds like a fairytail expectation that could leave someone very dissapointed. My opinion, I think there is something within yourself that needs working on because I have this feeling you could be with anyone and still feel the same way. You make You happy, it's not other people's job.Your relationships are MUCH better when you take care of you. Relationships are work. They aren't magic and fairydust the rest of your life. But they are very rewarding.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:14 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • A few years ago I had similar thoughts about my relationship with my husband. I had convinced myself that I was going to move on and find the "love" that I was looking for. So when I told him my plans for leaving, he asked why. And immediately he began making changes to love in ways I had always dreamed of. But I also discovered some things about myself along the way, and things I needed to change to make him happier. It took a lot of work from the BOTH of us, but it's been four years since we had that discussion, and our relationship is better than it was when we got married 10 years ago.
    Best of luck to you!

    Answer by mama2br00ke at 10:22 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • NO. I literally just got out of a relationship like this a month ago. While it seemed impossible to get over at first, I see the REAL him now, and I am SO HAPPY I got out! You will too, all in time. Moral of the story - GET OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!! YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY.

    Answer by lkm091 at 2:28 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • It has been my experience that things aren't always perfect. But if the things you are missing are what you truly want, you should give you dh a chance to be that man. He may not be able to give you everything you want but he might be able to step up and give you what you need. Don't live unhappy, but don't leave without giving him a chance.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:57 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

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