Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My 16 yr old is so upset with me! What am I suppose to do?

I allowed my daughters boyfriend to use a phone line that was on my contract that was not being used. I told him all he had to do wa pay me $10.00 a month for the use. My daughter was grateful because his parents did not have the money to get him a cell phone and it would allow them to talk and text back and forth. Well that was in July of this year. I have not received any money from him at all and he was making 411 calls from the phone, at a cost of 1.99 per phone call. When I first discovered this I told him not to do it anymore. When I checked my bill yesterday he did it again!!! Well that was it! I suspended the phone. Come to find out his parents were using the phone for thier own personal use because they could not afford one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But no one has offered to help me pay a single cent!!! I thought WHAT NERVE!!!!

Answer Question
 
cherish13662

Asked by cherish13662 at 10:16 AM on Nov. 4, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • Your daughter needs to get over it or pay for it herself. Nothing you can do. She will see in time. You can't foot their bill. And you shouldn't have to. You did the right thing.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:18 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Let her be upset! That is ridiculous. I think that is VERY generous of you to do this for him in the first place and if he cannot hold up to his end of the deal and respect your wishes then he isn't responsible enough for the phone.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 10:18 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • You did the right thing, I hate it when some people take advantage of a good person, stick to your guns.
    older

    Answer by older at 10:21 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • You're gonna have to swallow this one unless you plan on taking them to court. Kick yourself in the ass for your generosity.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:22 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • add on. So now she is so upset she thinks no one cares about her and what she wants. She has recently landed a part time job after school (mind you her bf quit his job) and now im worried that she will spend her money on a phone for him. he is taken advantager of her! She pays for all thier outtings. He doesnt do anything. Talking to his parents wont do anything because I have tried that. They dont work and wont respond to anything because they saw the "law" will get involved????? I dont even know what means!!! My husband tries to deal with it but it just ends up a big fight! We are usually very close but I cant stand to see her so upset. Is she just playing me? Should I just allow him to have the phone and not expect anything??? What am i to do
    cherish13662

    Comment by cherish13662 (original poster) at 10:22 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Nope, you continue like you are. When your daughter wants something, remind her that she has a job and can pay for it. If she is constantly paying for him..she won't have any money for anything else. She will soon see the light.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:27 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • You are doing the right thing. She will eventually come around. Good luck!!
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 10:41 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Thank-You!
    cherish13662

    Comment by cherish13662 (original poster) at 10:42 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Did he have a job at the time of your agreement? If not then how was he going to pay the $10.00, at this point if he didn't then you had to realize he may not have the money, 10 can be a lot if you don't have any money. If that is the case then it was a little unrealistic.

    If he had a job and wasn't paying then that would change things I would stick to my guns...hard when you know it is hurting your DD. As far as she paying for everything...it's her choice, it's her relationship, it's her money. She will wisen up..I have had a DD or two be in that position. I kept my mouth shut for the most part, it does get old with them, it's just one of those things they have to learn on their own.

    As to the parents paying, you made no deal with them, you made the deal with him, a minor no less. The law will be on their side.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 11:27 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I would call the parents and talk to them. Explain that you gave him permission to use the phone with certain resrictions and expectations and did not intend it to be used as their family phone. Add up how much he owes, the $10 a month, 411 calls and anything else he may have done and tell them you expect them to pay that ammount. They shoulld be ashamed for taking advantage of your generosity towards their son.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 11:55 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN