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What to do about cheating SO.

I'm fairly certain my SO is cheating. In the past week or two, he's been doing things behind my back (not necessarily hiding, but not being open, either) like getting in touch with old girlfriends via MySpace/Facebook, giving out his number, and asking other women to lunch.
The latter I just found out about last night, after he asked me to retrieve something from his phone...I didn't confront him about it then, because frankly, I'm not prepared. I'm a SAHM with no money and no place to go if things get hectic. This morning I woke and packed a suitcase. Now, I'm clueless.
As it seems to me right now, I can either wait and save up some money (I can only scrounge here and there; no job), or confront him and be thrown out on the street without my daughter. Neither of those are great options...
Experiences? Advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Nov. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • "fairly certain"?
    talking to an old flame via email is harmless. I talked to mine not too long ago. It didn't mean anything. We were just catching up. Plus you say he's not hiding it. So that implies he's not worried about your seeing anything, hence nothing to worry about.

    Asking women to lunch I might ask about but technically not cheating if they are work associates or old friends. I'd get some info before jumping to conclusions. It might be a jeweller that he's meeting to get your wedding band a new stone. Maybe its an interview for a job. Who knows? Could be anything. Find out first, ok? Good luck


    Answer by Zoeyis at 10:39 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • You are stuck between a rock and a hard place, it is hard but not impossible, research your options, talk with friends to see if anyone can lend a hand, parents maybe? Try to find a job, use your imagination, where there is a will there is a way, I wish you luck.

    Answer by older at 10:40 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I think I would just come out and confront the issue,, you need to know for certain, and then base your choices from his reaction,,if you file for divorce, he will have to pay spousal and child support immediately,,,,I would like to say try and work it out, but IF he is cheating, I personally don't think I could stay,, you need to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases! I hope that it is just some old catching up he is doing, but find out, and try to get a job...maybe watch some kids in your home? Good luck and I will say a prayer for you!

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:09 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • PS---YOU shouldn't be the one packing, pack his suitcase :)

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:10 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I would talk to him. First things first. Then go from there. Don't put your buggy before your horse.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 11:22 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I agree w/all of these ladies....definitely find out first before jumping to conclusions & doing something you may regret if it turns out it is nothing.
    Do you have friends and/or family nearby? If not how far away are they? You may want to have them on 'standby' just in case. Tell them what you told us & that you 'may' need someplace to stay for awhile.
    I hope for you and your childs sake he isn't.
    Good luck momma!

    Answer by cheekycherub at 12:57 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I was going to say the same thing...pack HIS suitcase and you stay put with your kids. Keep them in their familiar environment.

    Answer by rio_burb at 1:20 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • u know what u have to do and that is talk to him and see what he says.if hes cheating on u he isnt gonna come out and say it but u can always tell by his mood swings.and u shouldnt feel guilty and go out and cheat on him thats not right either

    Answer by diana398 at 1:49 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

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