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how do you handle temper tantrums?

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Asked by djgagemommy at 11:25 AM on Nov. 4, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 5 (88 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I don't! DS is only 19mo, and he has yet to pitch a fit. He's very clear about what he wants, and no means no, and he's ok with that!



    Answer by matobe at 11:27 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • It depends on what it is about, how bad it is, and my mood!

    If I'm patient enough, I play through it, I will make a sad face and tell my DD that she makes mommy so sad because she cries. Then I say, "Oh no, now mommy is going to cry!" And by the end she is usually laughing at me. Then I tell her that her behavior is unacceptable, and she needs to apologize.

    If is goes on and on, she sits in time out, in a chair in her room, until she is done. If she comes out and she is still throwing a fit, she goes back to time out.

    If I'm having a reall bad day, and she just won't stop. I go outside for five minutes and breathe before I deal with it, because sometimes the stubborness in her will make the fit go on for a long time, and I can't deal with it!

    Answer by FatGirl239 at 11:38 AM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I'm a behavioral specialist and what I have found is best technique for tantrums is ignoring them Totally ignoring until it's over! Dont' look at them and don't talk to them. Most tantrums are "I want what I want when I want it" kind of thing. If you see that your child is having tantrums about being frustrated that she can't do something (i.e. put a puzzle together), then take note of that and work with her at a later time to help teach her how. If tantrums are about a tower of blocks falling over, then you can build one and knock it down and laugh. Then show your child how to build it all over again! You can't reason with a child when they're in the middle of a tantrum. Just let them get it over with and then you can help. If they tantrum over wanting a cookie or something, don't give it to them! All you will do is teach them that the tantrum "works" and they'll keep doing them!

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 12:57 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • The answer above mine is very good. But I have a question to go along with it. What about tantrums in the store? Its impossible to just walk away and ignore them there.

    Answer by NicoleAnn26 at 1:24 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • i usually say "bummer you're so mad, just let me know when you're done" and then walk away. if we're at a store, i just stand there looking at things on racks until the tantrum is over.

    Answer by babymar at 1:47 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I usually sit him down in a chair or something until he calms down, and then I go over and hug him, and depending on why he was screaming, explain to him the situation (like if he was screaming because I told him no, I explain why I said no. If he was screaming because I wouldn't give him his way I explain that screaming doesn't get him what he wants).

    His tantrums are usually worse when he's bored or tired, so I try to keep an eye on him so I can act accordingly. If he's acting out because he's bored I try to find something fun to do, like coloring or dancing - the more active things tend to work better if he's so bored he's acting out. If he's tired I try to get him to lie down with me, which either is an easy feat that involves singing and reading or a major accomplishment that involves screaming and flailing everywhere, depending on how tired he is... naps have been hit and miss here lately...

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 3:24 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • TIME OUTS! In an empty play pen out of sight of you.

    Answer by WhitneyMommyOf2 at 2:56 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • For my kids, there's always a reason for a temper tantrum, and I try to figure out why first. Are they overly tired (this is usually it), overwhelmed, or just want something they can't have? If its because they're tired I take them home if we're out and they go to bed. If they're overwhelmed I take them away from the situation and try to get him to talk to me. If they want something they can't have, I ignore it and they get the message that they can't have it.

    Answer by lovepotato at 10:52 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I'm with AlisonAstair on this one. My ds (29 months) KNOWS that tantrums are unacceptable. I ignore it completely until he calms down, unless we're out in public. If we're out and he has one, I will take him somewhere private (such as the bathroom) until he's calmed down. I've found that, when he does have a tantrum, it's 10 times worse if he has an audience to perform for lol.

    Answer by ShadowRaven at 10:53 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Another reason my son will throw a tantrum is because I haven't been paying enough attention to him for whatever reason. I sit down with him after a minute and play with him, or have him help me with something like dinner.

    Answer by lovepotato at 10:54 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

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