Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

MONEY MONEY MONEY

My fiance is the only one in our house working i am a stay at home mom and we dont have a problem with bills or buying wants every week, he buys me what i want and pays me less attention on weeks where he buys me more things ive told him he cant buy my love but he says "when i buy you things it makes you happy" ive tried to convince him to quit buying me things and just give me the simple life like cuddling or a nice family dinner instead of takeout every night any advice??

Answer Question
 
19withtwins

Asked by 19withtwins at 12:27 PM on Nov. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (583 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Don't accept it anymore. If he comes home with a new pair of shoes for instance, bring them back and use the money from the shoes to pay a bill. A good conversation with him about money and spending might help. Tell him over and over again that money won't buy your love- you can even suggest going to the grocery store together and then go home and cook dinner together. Take out food must be getting old!
    Sharell8710

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 12:35 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Why don't you give him a nice family dinner instead of takeout every night?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 12:36 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I confess, if it were me and he wasn't listening, I'd get mad. I'd get really straightforward about needing his attention more than his gifts, and if he still wouldn't listen, the next time he gave me something, I'd throw it at him. I'm really not an angry person, but I believe strongly in men listening to their women, and sometimes you gotta get bitchy to be heard.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:41 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Don't accept anymore giftsts.
    I agree with tootoobusy. Give him a nice family dinner and sit down at the table together for dinner. Show him what he's missing out on with the REAL affection and maybe he'll understand that material things can't replace that. When he comes home from work show him affection and suggest to sit on the couch and watch TV together. Just lead by example. Then when you put into place what you're talking about he just might follow.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:41 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I'd take back whatever it was that he bought and tell him you'd like to use the money to go out for a nice dinner alone with him, otherwise i'd put it in savings.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 12:49 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Thanks for the answers... Ive tried the cook him a good dinner thing and he enjoys it but he still likes his takeout ugggh!!! i am so sick of already cooked food!!!!
    19withtwins

    Comment by 19withtwins (original poster) at 1:04 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • My advice?
    Grow a pair. Tell the man exactly what you said up there and then stick to your guns. He buys, you take it back. Inform him that you'll be cooking every night so he'd better pony up some meal ideas. Set aside time that is spent just being with one another, and then actually do it, and keep on doing it. Prove that your way is the better way.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 2:07 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN