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Why do people judge?

I have a very good relationship with my teens who are 15 (daughter) & 17 (son) & in grades 10 & 12. They can talk to me about everything & anything. Knowing that teens will do things to rebel I vowed to never forbid my children to do things because they will anyway. My teens are allowed to drink here & if they go to a friends house where there is drinking they are allowed to drink there as well, as long as there is supervision. They are allowed to smoke, they don't smoke a lot but they have smoked. Both are sexually active & my daughter is on the pill and both have condoms. They have no curfews, they can come & go as they please. With those freedoms...both are athletes (both starters on their teams since the 9th grade), both are straight A students, both takes college classes while attending high school & my son is a member of the National Honors Society. So, I don't understad why some people think that I am a bad mom???


Asked by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Nov. 4, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • You sound a lot like me... But frankly, I think people judge because they are afraid. They see others doing things differently and it makes them scared that they could be doing things wrong - and seriously, don't we all want to think we are doing it right? Plus, I think when it comes to parenting, most parents have strong beliefs about thing - especially things like sex and drugs and grades - and they honestly believe their opinions are the only ones which are right. All in all though, it comes down to people thinking they have all the answers and the idea that other answers could be right or just as good, creates a fear and defense response - which equals judgment.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:47 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • i answered your last post, but am answering again. my mom had no rules and i had to parent myself, so did my brother... i became an alcoholic at age 15, my brother was hooked on pot... i was in abusive relationships and got pregnant at 18... my brother robbed a store at 19... sometimes too much freedom will back fire on you... using the cop-out that kids will rebel and do it anyway doesn't fly with me... i have a 17 year old and he doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs and chooses friends who believes like he does... not because i forbade him, but because i let him know the consequences of those actions and how it could impact his life... i'm already talking to my 8-year old about the hazards of smoking, drinking and drugs so that he can make an informed decision later in life...

    Answer by babymar at 2:18 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • By what you've stated, its not because people are afraid of how you are parenting your children, parents (in their right minds) are wondering who in the heck would purposely allow thier children to become alcoholics and drug abusers? Have total disregard to their bodies and themselves???Not its not called judging, its called making sure my child isn't a freind to your child...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:30 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • They may be doing good now, but because they started drinking at a young age, they have a much higher chance of becoming an alcoholic, becoming addicted to other drugs...that are much worse than alcohol every will be. Alcohol is a gateway drug for teens. Once they start on alcohol, they will try other, rougher street drugs. People are judging you because you are allowing them to partake in an illegal activity that can cause YOU major issues. You are teaching them that it is ok to not have limits. You need to be a parent NOT a friend.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:22 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Why are you bragging about your kids drinking and smoking and having sex? I don't think you are a good parent at all.

    Answer by CometGirl at 9:06 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Why are you posting the same question over and over again? Trolling much?

    Answer by Anouck at 1:45 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Doesn't make you a bad mom, but some of your choices I won't let my children do. People parent differently

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:45 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Didn't you ask this same question yesterday, with just a little more info? I gave you an answer, yes you are a bad mom and you need to grow up

    Answer by JLS2388 at 3:05 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • wow as mother you must be so proud of your kids,but us other mother like teach our kids not to drink till there older,and smoking we tell them once they start they can not stop,and sex he would like wait till they are much older,and our curfew well we have them so they won't get in trouble,but your kids have done it all ,i won't say great job but you have stop being a mother the moment they came into the world ,you have never said no ,at 15 and 17 yr olds they have done ever thing oh yes birth control pills don't work all the time so soon you will be grandma ,with herpes,crabs,hiv your kids are sure to get
    and you pat your self on the back for being lousy mother

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 9:49 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • You are not! and that only proves you raised them well, with room to evolve.

    Answer by older at 1:45 PM on Nov. 4, 2010